Blog Archives

Missionary Mom

1/25/2015

I recently decided that I should have had more children. LOTS more.

The reason a person should have lots of children is that with many children comes the possibility of having many missionaries and being a Missionary Mom is worth every heart ache (and gut ache) associated with bearing and raising children. Really.

I’d heard antidotal stories about the blessings of having a missionary in the field and, in a benign, general sort-of way, I believed them. It’s all good, right?

Right. RIGHT!! So, SO right. So much more right than I ever imagined.

Before Chick left on his mission I was concerned about many things, including (but not limited to):

How many times will his companion hear him ask “If you could have any two super powers, which would you choose?” before he punches him?
If he drinks cherry Kool-Aid, will it stain his teeth red because he hasn’t brushed them in so long?
How many times will he lose his planner before his mission president chains it to his wrist?
And, perhaps most significantly, who will take care of me while he is gone? Chick was my go-to guy, the one I could always count on to lift, carry, dig, mow, haul, and help. Who would do that for me?

God.   I find that with Chick gone, God is taking care of me.   And He is doing a great job.

Lance’s health has improved; he is more present with us than he has been in years.   Miles’ physical ability to help has increased and as has his determination to do so.   The girls, who have always been wonderful, are even more empathetic, compassionate, and appreciative. There is an increased measure of peace in our home and, perhaps most significantly, in my heart; less angst, more tranquility. Peace is priceless.

God is doing a great job of taking care of me.   He is also doing a great job of taking care of Chick. My son—the young man who was largely unfamiliar with the working end of a toothbrush, who spent as much time in fantasy worlds as he did the real world, who would much rather be reading than working—is becoming a man.    He brushes his teeth “often twice or three times a day I want my breath to be fresh”. He is firmly planted in the physical world and completely committed to helping others understand the spiritual world.   And he is working hard—really hard—and loving it.

I don’t worry about me anymore. And I don’t worry about Chick.   He is in God’s hands and I trust those hands.   Every night in my prayers I thank my Father in Heaven for taking my son, for allowing him to serve, for giving him experience, opportunities, and challenges. He is doing a much better job with my boy than I ever could.   Thank you, dear Heavenly Father, thank you!

I love being a Missionary Mom.

Love,
Teresa

P.S.   Below are excerpts from Elder (Chick) Hislop’s letters. Original spelling and punctuation (or lack thereof) has been preserved.

10/6/14 [NOTE: Elder Hislop entered the MTC on Oct 1, 2015]

for the first time i wAS EXCITED FOR GENERAL CONFERENCE AND NOT AS a time in which i would get to sleep a lot. and perhaps as a consequence I got more out of tyhis general conference than out of any other two.

10/20/14   [NOTE: Elder Hislop arrived in Washington on October 15, 2015]

I learned about who my companion was his name is elder burton and he has only been out only three months. he is a great guy and a good missionary he is willing to listen to me as I talk about books and all other sorts of things that I am interested in. ……. elder burton is constantaly telling me how good of a ward we have. and we do have a great ward. …..we are apparently going to have dinner at a members house everyday. I am excited to buy my own food. it is going to be amazing. it gets dark here around 6:30 so we really have to stop tracting at that time because people who might have potential lose it because of a ready made excuse. so we try to have appointment otherwise we do a walk of faith. but during the walk of faith miracle can occur. …... the miracle occurred when at 8:20 we prayed for a guidance to know what to do. and as we opened our eyes a man with a dog walked in front of us we talked to him. and we had more success with that man that with any noninvestigator the whole rest of the week.

the church is true

10/27/14 [NOTE: His birthday is 10/26.]

so thank you for the many gifts and candy and letters you sent me. I actually had a great birthday. with letters from the Jefferies gram and granddad aunt Nikki and her kids and family. however I had a great experience when at around eight we received a text from the stake president of the neighboring stake. saying "this is president pope from the Lynnwood stake I need to talk with you tonight. once you are heading home can you call me? Elder Burton and I were a little confused and worried. but we saw them and they had a gigantic cake covered in chocolate frosting it turn his sister is aunt Cathy. so I got a hand delivered cake on my birthday

11/3/14

I love all of you but I am writing this with one hand because my other had is massively huge and hard to move it happened after I saw my companion get hit by a car his bike is dead he isn't quite yet. I am really worried about him. we have had a lot of problems this week.

okay it isn't like I made it sound but it is all true. right after I wrote you last week I saw my companion ride out in front of a car and his bike got smashed and crushed like a pop can he just stepped of and out of the way and didn't get hurt in the least

11/17/14

I really am excited to do a lot of work. to get stuff done.

I really want to work. we got a lesson in with a super less active who is very friendly with us and is rather shy. ahd the lesson went absolutly amazing.

I love all of you guys

12/15/14

this week was hectic and hectic and even more hectic I worked my self to the bone last week.

there was not a single day were we got any time to relax. and if it everlooked like we would have some time to sit down and study or put in some time fillers. we were called or ran into someone and was asked to go and help or contact or teach it was a very very busy week. ….. I love this work.

12/29/14

Sunday wsa spent a lot in tchurch meeting and sunday two investigator including a family came to church this is the first time I have had an investigator at church that wasn't coming before.

I know that I am doing the right thing. I know that god lives I know the book of Mormon is the word of god. andi know that familiies can be together forever.

I love you all

elder hislop

1/12/15

……The next day we went to visit a less active. Her name is Sister Savage. She is so fun. As we were talking with her she offered us ice cream bars. Unfortunately her non-member husband was the one who gave it to us and he gave us coffee flavored ice cream and I had no idea until I was 75% done so there’s that.

I love my area. I love my companion who is going to be leaving me soon :(   Transfers are this week.

I know the church is true. I know that my Redeemer lives. I love Him and I know that He loved me enough to die for me. I know that the Book of Mormon is true and that Joseph Smith was a prophet.

I love you all.

Elder Hislop

1/19/15

yesterday I had my first major anti-Mormon contact. and surprisingly it was A MASSIVE testimony builder. the lack of the spirit while he was talking was so incredibly apparent. I knew that I never, never wanted to feel like that again. I feels so good to be always have the spirit to be with me. I love it. ……I really enjoy my life right now and my mission.

with love Elder Hislop

Elder Hislop arrives at the Seattle airport.

There is a fabulous lady in Elder Hislop's area who posts pictures on a special Everett Washington Missionary Moms Facebook page. She also sends emails to the missionaries' mom. She sent me this message "Had your son over for dinner tonight! He tried sauerkraut and was a good sport about it. Lol its a traditional new years meal for my family to have pork and sauerkraut. (it's a Swiss/German thing) my husband hates it and will only let me make it for new year's. Ha ha your son was very sweet and even took seconds. We all got into a long conversation about Marvel vs DC comics. It was a pretty fun night. " It was SO wonderful to read her email. I felt almost as if I had been there. SO.............if you have the missionaries over for dinner, ask them for their mother's email addresses and send a little note. The results are very gratifying.

Brandon Sanderson is an internationally famous author. He is also Chick's favorite author. Lance and Tanah went to the signing of his most recent book. While there, Lance asked him to write a brief note to Elder Hislop. He graciously wrote the above letter.

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Unexpected Answers

1/18/2015

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Last winter was difficult for Lance; the depression demons seized him and shaking them seemed impossible.    The early months of 2014 were particularly difficult. Not only did Lance have trouble seeing the light; he struggled to see any light.   Life, for him, was particularly dark.

Enter Nuvigil. Nuvigil is a drug commonly prescribed for sleep apnea however there is a growing body of evidence that supports its use for depression.    Almost in desperation, Lance’s doctor prescribed Nuvigil and almost overnight he was a new man.   The changes were as dramatic as a teenage girl and much more long lasting.     We had our miracle drug.

Because Nuvigil is not FDA approved for depression, our insurance would not pay for it.   Because a one month supply of Nuvigil costs $500.00, we needed a miracle to buy our miracle drug.   No problem. I believe in miracles.

I fasted before beginning my get-the-insurance-to-pay-for-Nuvigil quest. The fast went really well and I felt confident that our petition would be granted.

My first step was to ask the doctor to send a letter to the insurance company, requesting an exception, which he did and they denied.     The next step was to write the insurance company a letter myself, asking them to revisit and repeal their initial decision.    It has been said that I am a better-than-half-decent writer and I wrote to the best of my ability.    The finished product was well written, well-reasoned, and would be, I hoped, well received.   I was completely confident that the powers that be would read my letter and reverse their decision.   How could they possibly turn me down?

They did.

But that was okay. I sighed and went on to the next step in the appeal process, still completely confident that the insurance would end up paying for Lance’s prescription and hopeful that they would even back pay for the prescriptions we had already filled to that point.

The final step in the process was an appeal to outside auditors, to medical experts who are appointed by the state and are not affiliated with our insurance company.   I fine-tuned the letter, added research articles from peer-reviewed journal s that validated the use of Nuvigil for people challenged by depression, and mailed the packet, knowing that in about two months I would receive a positive ruling.

I did not.

Hum.

Hum.   Hum.   Hum.

Was my fast not recognized? Were my prayers not answered?

If they were not answered, then, like Garth Brooks, I thank God for unanswered prayers.

Subtly, almost unnoticeably, Lance continued to improve.   And improve and improve.   He began taking just a half dose of Nuvigil daily.    And then no dose. None.   He stopped taking the miracle drug but the miracles did not stop happening.    The depression demons did not return; his functionality did not diminish.   Today we have all the benefits of taking Nuvigil with none of the costs (or the side effects).

I asked God for help getting the insurance company to pay for the drug. God took the need for the drug away.

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Amen.

Teresa

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Old Story....New Ap!

1/11/2015

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“Sister Hislop, this is Ken Jefferies. Can Norris and I come over this morning and finish fixing your bathroom?”

Ken’s question left me a little flummoxed.   Finish fixing my bathroom? There was nothing left to do. In fact, Norris had already done far, far more than expected.   What more could he and Ken possibly do?

Background: The Roy 14th ward (local Mormon congregation) had an auction to finance the ward Christmas fund.   Members were to donate good and/or services to be auctioned and then buy goods and/or services at the same auction (generally not the same good and/or services they donated though there was no rule forbidding it). All proceeds were used to provide Christmas gifts for less fortunate families in the neighborhood.

For years (decades actually) my bathroom floor was disastrous; recently it became disgusting and disastrous.    Most of the tiles were broken; if one walked across it with bare feet (a fairly frequent experience in bathrooms in North America) pieces of tile would stick to one’s feet.   One would have to stop, peel the tile piece from the bare skin, and replace it, like a jigsaw puzzle, into the shattered mosaic we used as a bathroom floor.    The wood supported the mosaic was warped and water-stained.   The grout between the tiles had long since disappeared.   The hole cut in the tiles surrounding the toilet was square and the toilet stand round so there were sections of exposed underwood surrounding the toilet. (There are men in the house who use the toilet…..Need I say more?)     In short, we were long past due for a new bathroom floor.

As his contribution to the auction, Norris Call, a talented craftsman, donated a new bathroom floor; he would provide the labor and expertise, the buyer would provide the materials.     I jumped on the opportunity like an alfalfa bale on a hay wagon; the new bathroom floor would be mine.   And it was.

Norris came the Friday before Christmas and spent the day ripping out the old floor and installing the new.   He put in a new sub-floor and installed a donated (I am still a little suspicious of this….but he assures me that he was not the one who donated it) piece of linoleum. He also put in new, crown moulding baseboards (“They were just extras I had laying around the shop,” he told me) AND he patched a hole in the wall.    OH MY LANDS!! Norris had already gone the extra mile and the extra baseboards and the extra wall patch. What more could he and Ken possibly do to finish my bathroom?

“Well,” said Ken, in answer to that question, “we have a new vanity here that needs installing and we were wondering if today or tomorrow would be the best time to install it?”

Oh my lands! OH MY LANDS AGAIN!!!    The old vanity, which Norris had faithfully removed to lay the floor and carefully reinstalled when the floor was finished, was indeed less than ideal.   Water-stained, warped, and well past its prime, it was not pretty but it was functional.    Norris had suggested replacing it and I had told him I’d consider it.     I had considered it and decided it was not dead yet; that we could probably coax another five or so years out of it. Back into the bathroom it went.

And back out of the bathroom it came, thanks to Ken and Norris who came over Monday morning and put a brand new, shiny white vanity onto my brand new, hole-less linoleum floor next to my brand new, white crown moulding alongside the brand, new inconspicuous patch on my wall.   Every time I walk by the bathroom (even now, two weeks later), I feel a thrill of joy; I joy in the new bathroom and I joy in the love of the good men who put it there.

Later that same Monday I noticed that Janika’s goat was out.    Several months ago I rather reluctantly (very reluctantly actually) agreed to let the goat stay in our pasture over the winter.    For lots of reasons (most of which are not very charitable) I am not comfortable having someone else’s animal on my place.   “Arg,” thought I, “the blasted goat is out.”

Seeing it wander into my hay barn motivated me to action; I put on my boots and coat and put the goat back into its place which, incidentally, was no small task.   It involved opening two heavy gates, neither of which swing freely, and convincing six sheep not to exit one pasture while persuading one goat to enter another.    I managed to accomplish the task, removed what I thought was the goat’s escape route and returned to the house.

In less than five minutes the goat was back in my hay barn.

My initial reaction was irritation and then came an idea…...   “Ah ha,” thought I, “here is my chance to get rid of this goat!   I cannot have an animal on my place what will not stay inside the fence; free access to the hay in my barn is not an option.”   I would tell the owners they had to take the goat back; clearly a free roaming goat would not work….It could bloat on the hay, it could wander in the road…..For the goat’s sake, it would have to go.

Almost gleefully, I planned the speech in my head.   Finally I would be goat-free!

And then I looked at the bathroom…….

Ken and Norris had helped me, so, SO much; much, much more than I deserved.   How could I so casually, even callously refuse to help Janika?

Sighing, I put on my coat and boots AGAIN and headed out to the shed to retrieve the fencing tools.   I would have to find the hole in the fence and fix it and then put the escaping creature back where it belonged. I really had no other ethical choice.

This is where the story gets good.   God stepped in.

As I was stepping out of the shed, carrying the fencing tools, Janika arrived to feed her goat.    In theory Janika feeds and waters the goat every day.   I say “in theory” not because I don’t believe she does it but because I never see her.   She generally comes when I am not home; only rarely, RARELY do our paths cross but that day, at the very moment when I emerged from the shed, carrying the tools needed to fix the fence for her goat, she arrived.

Her arrival was a blessing on multiple fronts, the least of which was that now there was someone to help me fix the fence.    It was really, REALLY nice to have help pounding in the post, securing the wires, and manning the gates.   Her presence also connected us.   She is naturally reticent and I believe it was very good for her to witness that I was willingly (and for all appearances cheerfully) working to help her and her beloved goat. Finally, and most importantly, her arrival softened my heart.    I recognized the tender mercy, my angst about the goat dissipated, and the cheerfulness I exhibited was authentic, not feigned. I found myself truly glad to be in a position to help her out.

Oh the Lord is good! So, SO good. He teaches us through ancient parables (Matthew 18:21-35) and modern ones (this story).   Blessedly the ancient parables help us recognize the lessons in the modern ones and aid us in avoiding making the described mistakes.

I am increasingly aware of and grateful for the Lord’s ability to change our hearts, to remove hard feelings, to eliminate baseness and ugliness and selfishness and to replace them with love and hope and charity.   So often He does not merely help us cope with or overcome or deal with crap in our characters; He culls it, carries it off, carts it away. Gone.   And then fills void with righteous desires; we do not become perfect but our wants are good. And, in the end, we all get what we really want.   (Alma 41:3-5).

I know the “mighty change” described by King Benjamin’s people is real; that if we let Him, if we sincerely invite Him, the Lord will effect a mighty change in our hearts as well and we, like King Benjamin’s people, will have “no more disposition to do evil; but to do good continually” (Mosiah 5:2). This is the power of God. He is GOOD!!!!!

Love,
Teresa

P.S.   It looks like I am back to preaching…..!

The new bathroom

Notice any gaps between the toilet and the floor? No? That's because they are n't any!!!

The new vanity makes me happy

Donkey, the escaping goat

Modern fencing tools are a better invention than sliced bread!

Newly installed fence post

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Peace on Earth, Goodwill and Glory!

1/4/2015

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“And on earth peace, good will toward men.” (Luke 2:14)

The first Christmas brought promises of peace and goodwill.   The two thousand fourteenth Christmas fulfilled those promises.    It has been a glorious, GLORIOUS two weeks.

The glory started Christmas Eve in the home of Don and Linda Stoffers.    After a soup-er (it helps if you say “soup-er” aloud) dinner, we played a game about Christmas (the game “Orchestra” using Christmas carols works really well—email me for details!) and then reviewed the story of first Christmas gift given to all mankind and told stories of gifts Christ has given us personally.    We ended the evening singing carols to the accompaniment of a professional (and beautiful) violinist.   The game elicited lots of laughs and our attempts at singing brought laughs as well; the in-between was all love.    Glorious!

More glory came Christmas morning as I watched my oldest daughter, brilliantly clad in her bright orange dress, disappear through security at the Salt Lake International Airport.   Tanah flew to Washington State where she spent a week with my parents at Zion’s Camp in Belfair. I was excited to see her go, not because life is easier with two children at home than it is with three (which, by the way, is true) but because the fact that she wanted to spend her vacation with my parents and that she was confident in her ability to get there on her own testified of her competence and good character. I love it when my children manifest competence and good character. Glorious!

As we were already in Salt Lake, those of us who remained in Utah decided to visit the temple.    Newly fallen snow softened the Square, which was largely deserted and totally bereft of commercialism.   We listened to a rich, recorded voice tell the Christmas story as we looked at the life size Nativity scene.   We snuggled in an alcove and watched the “He is the Gift” video.   Walking around the temple, listening, looking, feeling was a very good experience in a soft, special way. Peace. Miles and Grace threw snowballs at each other; I stopped Lance from hitting Joseph Smith (statue) in the face with a snowball. Goodwill.   Glorious!

We spent a portion of Christmas afternoon at the Roy Fish Pond, which was also largely deserted and totally bereft of commercialism.   Thankfully, it was not bereft of fish; Miles, Grace, Lance and Joe (Drago) caught several and kept three which we ate for Christmas dinner.   Glorious!

We Skyped with Chick (er….Elder Hislop, that is!) Christmas evening.   Though I eagerly anticipated his phone call, I was also a bit apprehensive; neither he nor I are good at phone conversations.   Groundless fears.    It was so, SO good to see him.   He glowed with growth and vigor; it was so clear that he is thriving. Glorious!

The entire Christmas break has been glorious.   In real life I get up at 4:30 a.m. every morning, Sunday through Saturday. Every morning.   For two weeks now, I have not gotten out of bed before 6:00 a.m. In real life I spend hours and hours weekly preparing for my role as an eighth grade science teacher. I have not done anything associated with OPA science for two weeks. In real life I rarely watch movies with my family; too many other “more critical” things on the task list.    I watched three movies at home over the break. I rarely stay up past 10:00; my body simply shuts down about 9:00 pm.    New Year’s Eve we played games with the Rose family, comfortably competing and entirely enjoying ourselves until well past midnight (1:30 a.m.!!) Tony’s impressions of a cheerleader and Miles’ pantomime of a video game remote control for the word “Playboy” are never-to-be-forgotten experiences. (May Miles never learn the difference between game boy and Playboy and may Tony give a repeat cheerleader performance someday….)   Glorious!

Grace and Miles took me sledding at Rohmer Park in Washington Terrace.   There was one jump on the entire hill and I managed to hit it.   (Believe me, it was not on purpose!) When it because obvious that my sled was going over the jump I laid back, closed my eyes, and waited for what I knew was going to be an incredibly painful experience.    Grace and Miles said that all the eyes of everyone on the slopes were on me; they too were waiting for inevitable…… They knew, as did I, that it was not going to be pretty.

I went over the jump.   The sled caught air. I caught air. Blue sky was visible between the sled and the ground. Blue sky was visible between my body and the sled.   Sailing….sailing…..sailing away…..And then we landed. Together.   The sled on the ground. Me on the sled.   Incredible.   I successfully avoided the jump all of the rest of the afternoon; Miles successfully went over the jump most of the afternoon.   And we all lived to tell about it.   Glorious!

The angels said “And on earth peace, good will toward men.” They also said “Glory to God in the Highest”. (Luke 2:14)   Like the angels, I say “Glory to God!”    My prayers have been full of gratitude for the peace and goodwill of the season, so full, in fact, that I have not been able to say much else. (Sorry, I have not been praying for you, please forgive me.)   Thank you, oh thank you, dear and gracious Father in Heaven, for the change of pace, change of focus, and change of heart brought by this season.   May the change of heart last when the focus and pace change back.

Love,
Teresa