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The Only Thing Worse Than Vacation Photos.....

6/29/2015

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The only thing worse than having to look at someone else's vacation photos is having to read about someone else's family reunion....

Our reunion adventure started at 4:10 a.m. last Tuesday morning (6/16) when I awoke Lance, noticed that his hair was all over his head, realized that giving him a haircut had not made the day before’s to-do-list, decided that it definitely should have been on the to-do-list, and got out the clippers.   A buzz and a shower later he was ready to go and, within the hour, so was the rest of the family.    Off to Zion’s Camp we set.

Last time we went to Zion’s Camp, Lance and I look a long detour along the Columbia River Gorge and it was several U-turns and a stop to ask for directions before we were back on track.   Determined not to repeat the previous trip’s mistakes, I brought physical maps with us this time; maps of Utah, Idaho, Oregon, Washington, California and Nevada. 

Driving through Washington, the cell phone GPS told us to leave the Interstate in Yakima and get on Hwy 12.  Obediently we complied.  Soon, but not soon enough to turn back, we found ourselves on a narrow, winding road traveling through Mt. Rainer National Park.   It was an incredible scenic drive (the drive along the Columbia River had been scenic also) but it was NOT the most direct route.   

I learned something.   One must do more than bring maps on trips.  It is also necessary to open and read the maps.

Later, rather than sooner, we arrived in Zion’s Camp (Belfair, WA) and it was all good.  ALL of it.  GOOD.  GREAT even.

Except when my shopping cart disappeared…..   Prior to the reunion’s official start, my brother Brad, his wife Nikki, Lance and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few reunion necessities.   Lance and I finished before Brad and Nikki so we sat on stools in the Wal-Mart Subway shop, waiting for them to finish.   The shopping cart, filled with our purchases, was parked right next to us.  Right next to us.  Less than 2 inches from my elbow.   The shopping cart WAS parked right next to us when we began our wait.   When we ended out wait, it was NOT parked right next to us.  In fact, it was no where to be seen.

Flabbergasted, I peeked around the corner and Lance trekked to customer service.  Surely the cart was somewhere.  But no.  It was not.   While we were sitting there, right next to the cart, someone took it completely without our knowledge.  Resigning ourselves to the fact it was gone and recognizing the fact that we really needed the items we had purchased, we got another cart, and were starting Shopping Excursion Take Two when Brad came back into the store.  “I loaded all your stuff into the van,” he said.   At that point we were not sure whether we should thank him or thunk him.  Though we no longer questioned what happened to our stuff, we are still questioning how he could have taken it without our noticing.  Scary.

Mt. Rainer excursions and missing shopping carts aside, the reunion itself was fabulous; filled, for me, with golden moments where time seemed to stand still and now could have lasted forever.   I lived, it seemed, totally in the moment, not plagued by life’s usual worries, concerns, and anxious anticipations of what may or may not come next. Glorious.   And beautiful.

Framed by a “Secret Service Academy”/military school theme, the activities included a scavenger hunt that took us around the perimeter, a running, swimming, boating tri-athalon, a trip to the Seattle Temple, an excursion to Pike’s Market, several Capture the Flag night games, a couple ending-after-midnight basketball games, a morning on a rope course, an invasive species pulling service project, and church services on Father’s Day where we filled four and a half center aisle pews.  

The activities were fine but the people made it fabulous.  Present were Mom and Dad Noel, all five of  their children and spouses, all but two of their grandchildren (the two who are on LDS missions), both of Dad Noel’s siblings and  their spouses, one of Dad Noel’s nephews and his family, and a grandson’s girlfriend.    Though I distinguish them here by families, distinct families were indistinguishable at the reunion.  Everyone mixed interchangeably; it was truly melting pot where love and acceptance flowed freely.

Following are snippets of my memories that may or may not be interesting to those who were at the reunion and that probably will NOT be interesting to anyone who was not.  (Feel free to skip to the bottom.)

Ø  Clarisse, Matthew, and Jett (5 yrs and younger) playing crochet  or, more accurately, using the crochet set to play some game whose rules they made up that involved using the mallet to push the balls around the lawn.

Ø  Romney, Lanae, and Tanah squished into a kayak so tightly that Tanah had to duck when Romney and Lanae paddled.

Ø  Kali M volunteering to wash dishes every night.

Ø  Putting the scavenger hunt clues out with Eden and then both Eden and I being unable to find the “No Fires Allowed” clue site.

Ø  Wright A. being so, SO good with the little boys….except when he dropped Gideon on his head on the cement floor.

Ø  Grandad beaming as he baptized all of his 12-18 year old grandchildren in the temple, the grandchildren serving as proxies for his ancestors who had died without the opportunity to get baptized.

Ø  Listening to the sealer in the temple tell us that many sacred things happen in the temple, things that are too sacred to be shared without permission…and then sharing, with permission, some personal sacred experiences.

Ø  Miles and others complaining about the service project before it started, participating without complaint once it started and then expressing amazement that it was over so quickly.

Ø  Ah…the service project!   We pulled Scotch’s Broom, an incredibly invasive, aggressive bush in the WA area.   Fortuitously it has a very shallow root system so the younger plants are very easily pulled by younger kids and the older ones pull-able by older kids.    Those who weren’t pulled hauled and stacked the pulled plants on the trailer.   It was a perfect-for-all-ages-and-sizes service project.

Ø  James and Miles were BEAST together as they pulled plants.

Ø  Romney was BEAST alone as he pulled plants.

Ø  Jacob (7 years) never slowed down, bringing plant after plant after plant to the trailer to be stacked.

Ø  McKaye was also an incredible worker.

Ø  Spencer was a champion jump-on-the-stack-so-we-can-fit-everything-into-the-trailer-er.

Ø  The ropes course was phenomenal.   I only wish we’d had more time.  Memorable were Marjorie’s courage, Aliza’s ideas, and Blaine, Jason, and Romney’s strength as they lifted my inert body over a tall, vertical wall.

Ø  Jason’s obvious love for Aliza as he described his feelings when she was the left, the last one to go over the wall.

Ø  Every family reunions should have a lake and the Zion’s Camp Lake was perfect.   

Ø  Miles coached Clarisse in the water, which she loved even though she did not need it.

Ø  Kali M was the paddle board queen.

Ø  Rachel swimming beside the canoe, towing it back to dock.

Ø  Sadie dive bombing off the rope swing into the rocks.  (Ouch!)

Ø  Esther’s salamander, caught at the lake

Ø  Daniel (Bubbah) giving everyone hugs.

Ø  Gathering every night at 9 p.m. to read scriptures and then kneel in family prayer.   Priceless.

Ø  Wright A. and Wright M. catapulting children off the swings in the Swing Garden

Ø  Carole chatting with Miles and Harper, intently listening with her adult ears to their child chat.

Ø  Wright M. individually chatting.    Time after time I saw him one-on-one connecting with cousins.  “He is so, SO kind,” said Miles.

Ø  McKaye chasing Frank in, around, and through the dorms.

Ø  Frank and Gideon rolling hula hoops and giggling and rolling hula hoops and giggling and rolling hula hoops and giggling and ……

Ø  Cathy and Kailey hula hooping

Ø  Kailey gracefully striking yoga poses….and the rest of us trying to follow (much less gracefully!)

Ø  Eric’s to-die-for hummus.   (Kimberly has the recipe.)

Ø  The fact that Kimberly hates to be called “Kim” but allowed us all to call her Kim.

Ø  Aunt Edie’s load of love as she expressed gratitude for all that was happening at the reunion.

Ø  Kali M earned 87 participation beads.

Ø  Eden crawling up on the counter to wash windows in the boy’s bathroom

Ø  Miles and Harper mopping the floor in the dining area.

Ø  Cathy’s self-discipline to do school work while the rest of us were playing.

Ø  Ashley (younger than 12…) captivating Miles, Spencer, James, and Jacob for 3.5 hours as we drove through traffic from Seattle back to Zion’s Camp.   “Tell me about a harsh girl,” she instructed them.  And, later, she lectured them.  “Back in the day, people were mean to people just because they had black skin but it does not matter if people have black or pink or purple skin.  Everyone is important.”  No need for electronics when Ashley is in the car.

Ø  Kali N. scored three baskets in the pick-up basketball game.  It was a victory on many fronts.

Ø  Matthew saw the ring pops on Wednesday and asked faithfully every day through Saturday if it were time to eat them yet.

Ø  Hamilton’s story about a naked, Japanese massage.  (You’ll have to ask him.”

Ø  Eric takes three guns with him when he travels.   “You never know which gun goes best with which outfit and I like to have options,” he explained.

Ø  Larry’s moral to his story about cutting off two of his fingers. “Never use a band saw when you are mad at students.”

Ø  Wanda and I cooking rice and chicken together….and rejoicing in amazement and wonder when it all worked out.

Ø  Carole bringing Lanae from the airport.   Thank you!

Ø  Uncle Keith still teases me about writing too much.   (He will never make it this far in this letter.)

Ø  Nikki participating in a trust game “…only because I know how important it is to Noels to face their fears.”

Ø  Nikki, who comes from a strong, wonderful family, saying repeatedly how much she loves being a Noel..  [We love it that you are a Noel too Nikki!!!!]

Ø  Marjorie giving me a hug in Relief Society because she can read my heart, even when I have not said anything.

Ø  Aliza, McKaye, and Grace hanging out together.

Ø  Grace being tackled by three (or was it four?) young, male cousins and wrestling them all to the ground.

Ø  Lance, with his best drill sergeant voice, being the perfect MC for the Secret Service Academy. “I hope none of you have dyslexia…”

Ø  Gram, still the Momma Bear, watching out for all of her kids and grandkids.

Ø  Wright A. and Brad decided to make cinnamon rolls on night just so they could try out the commercial dough mixer….using the wrong sized bowl and showering the kitchen with flour, milk, yeast….find the right bowl and, eventually, making some incredible cinnamon rolls.  YUM!

Ø  Brad’s Father’s Day pies….Fabulous!

Ø  Tanah cleaned the grease trap in the kitchen, easily the week’s nastiest job.

Ø  Nikki’s bare feet….ever seen a Hobbit?

Ø  Laughing with Blaine…….laughing and laughing and laughing.   He has an infectious laugh.

Ø  Figuring out the difference between energy and force with Blaine.  He also has a great brain.

Ø  Marjorie and Kimberly’s side trip to the Costco in Olympia.   Kimberly, who loves Costco, is thinking about marketing Costco t-shirts.   Costco: SEATTLE.  Costco: OGDEN.  Costco: PORTLAND.   Contact her for details.

Ø  The teens girls, stopped in traffic near Pike’s Market, jumped from the car to get caramel apple samples and ended up charming the shop keeper into bringing the plate of samples to their car window.

Ø  Grandad’s breakfast crew—teenagers will not get up for their parents but who willing got up early to help Grandad fix breakfast.

Ø  The “Wizard, Elves, Giants” game on the lawn that did not work as planned but that did entertain us.

Ø  Gram’s “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” plaques.

Ø  All the men wearing matching purple ties to church.

Ø  Uncle Keith’s famous fry bread.  [I would write more about it but he will never, NEVER make it this far in this letter.]

Ø   “Is puberty hard, Aunt Teresa?”….an innocent question asked by a favorite niece.

The scriptures say that time is measured to man only, that God is timeless.  God, it seems, is completely  present, totally in the moment.   I think, perhaps, during the family reunion, I experienced a small taste of what God experiences.  Totally in the moment, surrounded by family, it certainly seemed like heaven.


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I Need a Daddy Hug

6/14/2015

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“I needed a Daddy hug.”

It was I who got up early and took Tanah to catch the bus going to the Region Drama competition.   I prepared a bag of snacks for her and gave her money so that she could buy lunch.  I loaned her a favorite necklace for her costume.   It was me, her mother, who performed all the home tasks necessary to launch Tanah’s region drama performance.

Tanah wanted so, SO badly to qualify for state in the One Act completion.   She was the lead in Roy High’s One Act and a state qualification berth would reflect well on her acting ability.  It would also mean that she would get to spend two days in a hotel in Provo, swimming, playing, flirting, and laughing with some of her greatest friends.   The actual performance of the one act at the state competition would only briefly interrupt the fun they would have hanging out at the hotel.

Late that afternoon Tanah called home and asked her dad to meet her at Roy High.  Obligingly, he drove to the high school, met her, and came home…..without her.   During a brief stop at Roy High, in between the region drama competition and another social obligation, she wanted to see Lance.

Lance’s answer to my question as to why Tanah wanted him to meet her at the high school was noncommittal but Tanah’s response to the same question was very direct.    “I needed a Daddy hug,” she said.

It turns out that the one act performance at Region was a bust.  Not only did they NOT qualify for state, theirs was the lowest score of all the one act performances.  And, to add insult to injury, if they had placed even second-to-last, instead of last, Roy High would have won the Region Drama Competition. The one act’s poor placing cost the team the region trophy.   No glory, no trophy, and no two-night stay in a Provo hotel.   Tanah was devastated and, in her heartache, she turned to her father.

“I needed a daddy hug.”

I, too, have needed a daddy hug.

When I was 16 I drove a spud truck during potato harvest.   For two weeks in October I got up early and worked late, driving the empty truck to the field, driving it alongside the digger as the potatoes were loaded, driving it full to the pit to be unloaded and then driving it empty back to the field again.   

One day I turned a corner a little too closely.  My rear tires went off the road and into the barrow pit.  Almost in slow motion, the truck tipped over, spilling an entire load of potatoes onto the ground.  The truck was on its side, I was inside, and the potatoes were outside.  I was devastated and, in my heartache, I turned to my father.

I needed a daddy hug.

It was a spring evening when I got the call from BYU telling me that I had been awarded the Spencer W. Kimball scholarship.   Again I launched myself into his arms, this time in celebration.   Other times physical pain caused my daddy hug need.   Once, caught between a rock and a hard place, my finger was smashed and the building pressure beneath the finger nail was becoming unbearable.  Dad’s hug helped the hurt and the hole he drilled with the fire-heated needle relieved the pressure.

My Dad could fix it…smashed finger, spilled potatoes, bruised soul…….whatever “it” was.   Growing up, I was completely confident that my dad could fix anything.  I remember pondering a friend’s troubles and thinking “If she could just live with us for a while, Dad would help her.”

Everyone needs a daddy hug, once in a while.   Sociologist, Dr. David Popenoe, said “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home.   Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” 

In 2006 the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services published a document titled “The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children”.   From that document:

”Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities.

“The influence of a father’s involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.

“Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers. These children also are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the neighborhood.

“One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior. This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had stronger self-esteem.  In addition, numerous studies have found that children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior.”

“In short, fathers have a powerful and positive impact upon the development and health of children.” (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/fatherhood.pdf#page=19&view=CHAPTER 2 Fathers and Their Impact on Children’s Well-being)

[NOTE:  Specific studies are cited as a post script.]

Powerful.  Positive.  Profound.  Fathers are priceless.

I am so grateful for fathers.  I am grateful for the fathers of my friends, men who have raised and nurtured the people I love.   I am grateful the father of my children; I love it, LOVE IT, that they want Daddy hugs.  I am grateful for the father of my body; my dad is largely responsible for who and what I am.  And I am grateful for the Father of my spirit, a Heavenly Father whose wise love makes joy possible.

Happy Father’s Day!  Father’s Day IS a happy day.  I am so happy to have fathers.

Love,
Teresa

**Scroll to bottom for photos.......

RESEARCH ABOUT THE INFLUENCE OF FATHERS

http://www.fatherhood.org/statistics-on-father-absence-download?submissionGuid=4d24af99-504e-48ee-8038-5a8f1654f724                 From National Fatherhood Initiative (www.fatherhood.org),

·         There is evidence supporting the positive influence of father engagement on children’s social, behavioral, and psychological outcomes. Father involvement seems to reduce the occurrence of behavioral problems in boys and psychological problems in young women, as well as enhancing cognitive development, while decreasing delinquency and economic disadvantage in low-income families. Source: Sarkadi, A., Kristiansson, R., Oberklaid, F., & Bremberg, S. (2008). Fathers’ involvement and children’s developmental outcomes: a systematic review of longitudinal studies. Acta Pædiatrica, 97, 153–158

  • Children whose fathers are stable and involved are better off on almost every cognitive, social, and emotional measure developed by researchers. For example, high levels of father involvement are correlated with sociability, confidence, and high levels of self-control in children. Moreover, children with involved fathers are less likely to act out in school or engage in risky behaviors in adolescents. Source: Anthes, E. (2010, May/June). Family guy. Scientific American Mind.
 

·         The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (N= 2,733) was used to examine the benefits of biological father involvement in adolescent lives. • Nonresident biological fathers that provided continuous emotional support and social interaction greatly reduced their children’s behavioral problems. • The benefit of each unit of biological father involvement was two to three times greater when the father lived with his children compared to elsewhere. • There is no substantial difference in how father involvement affects sons versus daughters. Source: Carlson, M. J. (2006). Family structure, father involvement, and adolescent behavioral outcomes. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68, 137–154.

  • Babies with a father’s name on the birth certificate are 4 times more likely to live past 1 year of age.  
    Source: Alio, A.P., Mbah, A.K., Kornosky, J.L., Marty, P.J. & Salihu, H.M. "The Impact of Paternal Involvement on Feto-Infant Morbidity among Whites, Blacks, and Hispanics". Matern Child Health J. 2010; 14(5): 735-41.
 

·         A study of 1,977 children age 3 and older living with a residential father or father figure found that children living with married biological parents had significantly fewer externalizing and internalizing behavioral problems than children living with at least one nonbiological parent.
Source: Hofferth, S. L. (2006). Residential father family type and child well-being: investment versus selection. Demography, 43, 53-78.


 

·         A study of 3,400 middle schoolers indicated that not living with both biological parents quadruples the risk of having an affective disorder.
Source: Cuffe, Steven P., Robert E. McKeown, Cheryl L. Addy, and Carol Z. Garrison. “Family Psychosocial Risk Factors in a Longitudinal Epidemiological Study of Adolescents.” Journal of American Academic Child Adolescent Psychiatry 44 (February 2005): 121-129.


 

·         Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds.
Source: Harper, Cynthia C. and Sara S. McLanahan. “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.


 

·         In a study using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth 1997, the researchers examined father-child relationship and father’s parenting style as predictors of first delinquency and substance use among adolescents in intact families. The results indicated that a more positive father-child relationship predicts a reduced risk of engagement in multiple first risky behaviors. The positive influence of the father-child relationship on risk behaviors seemed to be stronger for male than for female adolescents.
Source: Bronte-Tinkew, J., Moore, K.M., & Carrano, J. (2006). The father-child relationship, parenting styles, and adolescent risk behaviors in intact families. Journal of Family Issues, 27, 850-881.


  • A study using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health explored the relationship between family structure and risk of violent acts in neighborhoods. The results revealed that if the number of fathers is low in a neighborhood, then there is an increase in acts of teen violence. The statistical data showed that a 1 percent increase in the proportion of single-parent families in a neighborhood is associated with a 3 percent increase in an adolescent’s level of violence. In other words, adolescents who live in neighborhoods with lower proportions of single-parent families and who report higher levels of family integration commit less violence.
    Source: Knoester, C., & Hayne, D. A. (2005). Community context, social integration into family, and youth violence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 767-780.
  • Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk.
    Source: Anderson, Amy L. “Individual and contextual influences on delinquency: the role of the single-parent family.” Journal of Criminal Justice 30 (November 2002): 575-587.
  • In a study of INTERPOL crime statistics of 39 countries, it was found that single parenthood ratios were strongly correlated with violent crimes. This was not true 18 years ago. Source: Barber, Nigel. “Single Parenthood As a Predictor of Cross-National Variation in Violent Crime.” Cross-Cultural Research 38 (November 2004): 343-358.
  • A study using a sample of 1,409 rural southern adolescents (851 females and 558 males) aged 11 to 18 years, investigated the correlation between father absence and self-reported sexual activity. The results revealed that adolescents in father-absent homes were more likely to report being sexually active compared to adolescents living with their fathers. The analysis indicates that father absence can have a detrimental effect on adolescents’ lifestyle choices. This study also revealed a statistical significance between father absence and adolescent self-esteem.
    Source: Hendricks, C. S., Cesario, S. K., Murdaugh, C., Gibbons, M. E., Servonsky, E. J., Bobadilla, R. V., Hendricks, D. L., Spencer-Morgan, B., & Tavakoli, A. (2005). The influence of father absence on the self-esteem and self-reported sexual activity of rural southern adolescents. ABNF Journal, 16, 124-131.
The researchers found that maternal education and father involvement were the only protective factors for early sexual activity. In addition, the risk factors for early sexual contact were age, gender, race, two-parent households, separated households, and delinquency. Among all of the family processes, father involvement was the only factor that decreased the odds of engaging in sexual activity and none of the other family processes was found to be statistically significant.
Source: Jordahl, T., & Lohman, B.J. (2009).A bioecological analysis of risk and protective factors associated with early sexual intercourse of young adolescents. Children and Youth Services Review 31, 1272–1282.

 

·         Adolescent girls who reported higher levels of relationship quality with their fathers were less likely to have sex before age 16, compared with adolescent girls who reported lower levels of father-daughter relationship quality.
Source: Ikramullah, E., Manlove, J., Cui, C., & Moore, K. A. (2009). Parents matter: The role of parents in teens’ decisions about sex. Washington, D.C.: Child Trends.


  • Adolescent boys who had dinner with their family every day were less likely to have had sex before age 16, compared with those who report they eat dinner with their family less than five nights a week. 31 percent of teen boys who reported having dinner with their family every day were estimated to have had sex before age 16, compared with 37 percent of teen boys who reported that they had dinner with their family fewer than five days a week.
    Source: Ikramullah, E., Manlove, J., Cui, C., & Moore, K. A. (2009). Parents matter: The role of parents in teens’ decisions about sex. Washington, D.C.: Child Trends.
 

Teens without fathers were twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as an adolescent.
Source: Ellis, Bruce J., John E. Bates, Kenneth A. Dodge, David M. Ferguson, L. John Horwood, Gregory S. Pettit, and Lianne Woodward. “Does Father Absence Place Daughters at Special Risk for Early Sexual Activity and Teenage Pregnancy.” Child Development 74 (May/June 2003): 801-821.

·         Even after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father.
Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.


  • A study with 441 college students revealed that a poor parental bond with one’s father was highly predictive of depression, a well-known predictor of alcohol abuse and related problems for both females and males. These findings suggest evidence for parental influences on pathways to alcohol abuse through depression.
    Source: Patock-Peckham, J. A., & Morgan-Lopez, A. A. (2007). College drinking behaviors: Mediational links between parenting styles, parental bonds, depression, and alcohol problems. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 21, 297–306
  • The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth found that obese children are more likely to live in father-absent homes than are non-obese children.
    Source: National Longitudinal Survey of Youth
  • In a study using a sample of 2,537 boys and 2,446 girls, researchers investigated the relationship between Body Mass Index (BMI) status at ages 4 to 5 years and mothers’ and fathers’ parenting involvement and parenting styles. The results showed that only fathers’ parenting behaviors and styles were associated with increased risks of child overweight and obesity. Mothers’ parenting behaviors and styles were not associated with a higher likelihood of children being in a higher BMI category. In the case of fathers, however, higher father control scores were correlated with lower chances of the child being in a higher BMI category. Moreover, children of fathers with permissive and disengaged parenting styles had higher odds of being in a higher BMI category.
    Source: Wake, M., Nicholson, J.M., Hardy, P., & Smith, K. (2007). Preschooler obesity and parenting styles of mothers and fathers: Australian national population study, Pediatrics, 12, 1520-1527.
      • Study that looked at family lifestyle and parent’s Body Mass Index (BMI) over a nine year period found:A fathers’ body mass index (a measurement of the relative composition of fat and muscle mass in the human body) is directly related to a child’s activity level. In a study of 259 toddlers, more active children were more likely to have a father with a lower BMI than less active children.
        • Father’s Body Mass Index (BMI) predicts son’s and daughter’s BMI independent of offspring’s alcohol intake, smoking, physical fitness, and father’s education
        • Furthermore, BMI in sons and daughters consistently higher when fathers were overweight or obese
        • Physical fitness of daughters negatively related to their father’s obesity
        • Obesity of fathers associated with a four-fold increase in the risk of obesity of sons and daughters at age 18
Source: Burke V, Beilin LJ, Dunbar D. “Family lifestyle and parental body mass index as predictors of body mass index in Australian children: a longitudinal study.” Department of Medicine, Royal Perth Hospital, University of Western Australia, and the Western Australian Heart Research Institute; Perth, Australia.

Source: Finn, Kevin, Neil Johannsen, and Bonny Specker. “Factors associated with physical activity in preschool children.” The Journal of Pediatrics 140 (January 2002): 81-85.

Father’s, not mother’s, total and percentage body fat the best predictor of changes in daughter’s total and percentage body fat.
Source: Figueroa-Colon R, Arani RB, Goran MI, Weinsier RL. “Paternal body fat is a longitudinal predictor of changes in body fat in premenarcheal girls.” Department of Pediatrics, General Clinical Research Center, Medical Statistics Unit, Comprehensive Cancer Center, University of Alabama at Birmingham

 

·         Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A's. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.
Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.


  • Students living in father-absent homes are twice as likely to repeat a grade in school; 10 percent of children living with both parents have ever repeated a grade, compared to 20 percent of children in stepfather families and 18 percent in mother-only families.
    Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.
  • A study of 1330 children from the PSID showed that fathers who are involved on a personal level with their child schooling increases the likelihood of their child's achievement. When fathers assume a positive role in their child's education, students feel a positive impact.
    Source: McBride, Brent A., Sarah K. Schoppe-Sullivan, and Moon-Ho Ho. "The mediating role of fathers' school involvement on student achievement." Applied Developmental Psychology 26 (2005): 201-216.
From National Center for Fathering (www.fathers.com)

- When fathers are involved, their children learn more, perform better in school and exhibit healthier behavior. Even when fathers do not share a home with their children, their active involvement can have a lasting and positive impact. The Education Department is working for fuller recognition and inclusion of fathers in all of their programs because of the huge impact fathers can have on their kids.

Source: A Call to Commitment: Fathers’ Involvement in Children’s Learning, published by the U.S. Department of Education. Updated February 19, 2010.
http://www.education.com/reference/article/father-involvement-important-education/


– Father involvement makes a difference in kids’ emotional lives. From a study based on 17,000 children born in the United Kingdom in 1958 who were followed up with at ages 7, 11, 16, 23 and 33:

  • Children with involved fathers have less emotional and behavioral difficulties in adolescence
  • Teenagers who feel close to their fathers in adolescence go on to have more satisfactory adult marital relationships.
  • Girls who have a strong relationship with their fathers during adolescence showed a lack of psychological distress in adult life.
Source: Dr. Eirini Flouri & Ann Buchanan, “Involved Fathers Key for Children,” Economic & Social Research Council, March 2002.

 Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. In 2011, 12 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 44 percent of children in mother-only families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2011, Table C8. Washington D.C.: 2011.

– The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.”

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, DC, 1993.

 

– A study of 1,977 children age 3 and older living with a residential father or father figure found that children living with married biological parents had significantly fewer externalizing and internalizing behavioral problems than children living with at least one non-biological parent.

Source: Hofferth, S. L. (2006). Residential father family type and child well-being: investment versus selection. Demography, 43, 53-78.

– Children of single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.

Sources: The Lancet, Jan. 25, 2003 • Gunilla Ringbäck Weitoft, MD, Centre for Epidemiology, the National Board of Health and Welfare, Stockholm, Sweden • Irwin Sandler, PhD, professor of psychology and director of the Prevention Research Center, Arizona State University, Tempe • Douglas G. Jacobs, MD, associate clinical professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School; and founder and director, The National Depression Screening Program • Madelyn Gould, PhD, MPH, professor of child psychiatry and public health, College of Physicians and Surgeons, Columbia University; and research scientist, New York State Psychiatric Institute.
http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030123/absent-parent-doubles-child-suicide-risk


 

– Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

– 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless; fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills; children from father-absent homes are more likely to be truant from school, more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16, and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood.

Source: Edward Kruk, Ph.D., “The Vital Importance of Paternal Presence in Children’s Lives.” May 23, 2012.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201205/father-absence-father-deficit-father-hunger



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