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Marriage Is Work

8/18/2019

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“What is your marriage advice?” I asked candidates vying for Weber State University’s Traditional Family Values (TFV) Scholarship.  

To be eligible for the scholarship candidates had to be enrolled as a sophomore, junior, or senior at WSU, have a GPA of 2.5 or higher, and be married.  To apply for the scholarship they had to write an essay describing what traditional family values meant to them and their spouses had to write a letter recommending them for the scholarship.  (Side note: Reading the letters of recommendation from the spouses is a tender experience.)   

The scholarship is designed to strengthen families, to help fathers and mothers to gain the education needed to support their families.  In the words of Father Cummins, one of the scholarship’s founding members, “We hope to take fathers out of digging ditches and into the homes of their children.”    Though our funds are meager, our goals are lofty.   

Over 100 students applied for the scholarship.  Six were selected as finalists and interviewed by the TFV Scholarship committee.    Each of the six committee members asked the finalists a question and my question sought their advice about marriage.

When asked about marriage, these apparently happily married people, people who were vying for a scholarship related directly to marriage, people who may or may not get tuition money based on their ability to present themselves a good candidates for a scholarship focused on family relationships, people who, one would think, would be likely to sugarcoat their answers…. These people, across the board, indicated that marriage takes work.

“In marriage you must make a daily decision to love someone.”

“Compromise.  Navigate.”

“We struggled for eight years.  Marriage is not easy. Keep working at it.”

“Date every week.   You have to put your relationship with your husband first.”

“Decide  what to fight for; discern what’s important.”

“There are rocky times.  Keep pushing through hard times.”

I was deeply impacted by their frank, honest answers.   The candidates ranged in age from mid-20’s to mid-50’s.   There were men and women, newly weds and grandparents, college sophomores and grad students.  Some were products of traditional families and some came from broken homes. Nonetheless, all recognized the universal truth that marriage is work.  And, more importantly, all of them testified that marriage is worth the work it requires.

Marriage is work.   Marriage is also friendship, connection, fulfillment, synergy and joy.  So much joy!!  

Lance and I have struggled.  We have compromised, navigated, and had to discern what was important.  Some days the decision to love each other was difficult. But we pushed through hard times and I can honestly say that I am married to my best friend.   He is my companion of choice, the one I turn to in tragedy and triumph, for comfort and council, for better or for worse, forever and ever, amen!

My marriage advice?   Marriage is work. Work at it.  It is worth it. So, SO worth it!

​POST NOTE:   Contributions to the Traditional Family Values Scholarship are welcome, encouraged, and celebrated.  They are also tax deductible.   If you are interested in contributing, please contact me or the WSU Scholarship Office, 801-626-7569, 3885 West Campus Drive, Dept 1136, Ogden UT  84408-1136.

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All is Well that Ends.....FABULOUSLY!

8/11/2019

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PictureLet her eat cake!
Eating 6 lbs of Platinum Hog Show Feed with a side 2.5 cake mixes, 10 eggs, and 2.5 cups of oil every day translated to 2.2 lbs of daily weight gain which was enough to make weight.    The minimum acceptable weight was 230 lbs and Miles’ hog weighed in at 242 lbs so, having made weight, the rest of the fair’s outcomes were, it could be said, frosting on the proverbial cake.

Miles entered the fair with no expectations.  He knew his crazy Holstein/Suffolk cross hog (https://www.lifeisthestoriesyoucantell.com/life-is-the-stories-you-can-tell/holsteinsuffolk-cross) would not perform well in the showmanship ring.  She was simply too wild and willful. He also knew that she would not place high in the market class.  The month of growth she lost as a result of chronic scours put her too far behind to catch up. Realistically, he knew that this would not be his year to shine at the fair.  He could hope for a blue ribbon and that was about it.

But hearts are not realistic and hopes not always reasonable.    He loves pigs. Every year, in mid-January, he begins asking “When do I get my pig?”  [The pigs do not arrive on the place until the first of April.] When his pig does finally arrive, it is not uncommon for him to go down to the pen and just hang out with his hog for up to an hour at a time.   Also he really loves showing his pig. And he is really good at it. Every year he is invited into the final showmanship round. As a junior showman he won a belt buckle (Reserve Grand Champion) and he harbors hope--a realistic hope--of earning another one. Working as a team with one’s animal in the show ring brings an adrenaline rush that is unique.    For Miles exceling with his pig is a once-in-the-year opportunity that comes only during the county fair. And it did not happen this year. And it hurt.

His pig did earn a blue ribbon and she did not sprint the entire time she was in the show ring, which was good, but not good enough to fulfill his fair dreams.   It was simply a hard year for him. Hard.

As if getting 5th in his market class and not participating in showmanship were not blows enough, he discovered on Saturday that his animal had been listed as a red ribbon hog and ranked as #185 in the auction order.   Devastating.  

At the Junior Livestock Auction, the animals, in theory, are ranked according to descending quality, with the grand champion animals being sold first, reserve champion animals sold second, star class animals third, blue ribbons animals fourth and red ribbon animals last.   Also, in theory, the higher the animal is ranked, the more it sells for. The last blue ribbon hog was #130 so the clerical error that listed Miles’ hog as a red ribbon animal cost him at least 55 spots in the auction order. Ouch. OUCH! Tears welled in both our eyes as we reeled from this latest blow.

Enter Dr. Paul Mackley.    Literally.   

We were sitting numbly on the bleachers in the auction arena and animal #124 was being sold when we saw Dr. Mackley enter the building.    Dr. Mackley and his darling wife Karen have long been generous supporters of junior livestock in general and of our children specifically. Miles had contacted them about being buyers nonetheless his appearance was a surprise.   A very, VERY pleasant surprise.  

Dr. Mackley flipped our day.   Miles eyes, which had been dulled by disappointment, sparkled again.   Appreciation, gratitude, and feelings of thanksgiving filled my heart.  

Appreciation, gratitude, and feelings of thanksgiving filled my heart again when the auctioneer introduced Miles and his animal.  “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “This is a special young man. We made a mistake and listed his pig as a red ribbon hog when in fact it earned a blue ribbon.   And this young man did not make a fuss about it. Let’s give him a big round of applause and treat him right.” The crowd did give Miles a round of applause and did treat him right.   The bidding started at a higher beginning bid than any of our children have EVER had; Dr. Mackley had to bid against others twice to get the pig. When it was sold to Dr. Mackley Miles’ grin was miles wide and he was so excited he raced his running pig out of the ring.

Oh thank you!  I am so grateful for the good people in this world.  Thank you to all of you who so generously contributed to Miles’ pig project.  Thank you to the people in the auction crowd who treated Miles right. Thank you to the volunteers who make the Weber County Junior Livestock show and auction an option for so many kids (306 this year….).   And thank you, THANK YOU, to Dr. Mackley for flipping our fair.

All is well that ends FABULOUSLY!

​

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Miles catches up to his sprinting pig
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He was actually able to direct her once or twice in the show ring
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And she's off.....!
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Miles moves her in front of the judge
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Sweet sister Grace took time off from both her jobs to support Miles at the fair
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Cooper, Miles' cousin, had a fabulous fair.
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Miles penned his pig
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The pigs soon after arriving at our place
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The pigs soon after leaving our place (over 150 lbs later).
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A blue ribbon hog and a blue eyed boy
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Reincarnation Options

8/4/2019

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I want to be reincarnated as a college student come go USU and study ag science.   Oh my lands!! I just spent three days at an Ag in the Classroom professional development class and I am so, SO excited about the things that are happening in the ag industry.
 
Most incredible to me was our visit USU dairy where milking robots and the cows themselves control the milking process.   At their leisure, when they decide to, the cows come to the milking stall. Sensors open the gate and the cow enters. Once in the milking stall, the cow gets an edible treat and the robot goes to work washing the udder.   The washer looks a bit like a miniature car wash roller. After a double udder scrub the inflations (milkers) are attached. Each quarter of the udder is milked independently so if one quarter is emptied before the rest, that inflation detaches.    When the entire udder is emptied, the milker is pulled off and sanitized while the cows udder is treated with a disinfectant. She is then released and the next cow allowed to enter. The entire process is controlled and recorded by a computer that reads a chip in a disk that hangs around the cow’s neck.     If a cow comes in too early (just to get a treat) the machine kicks her back out. If a cow does not come in to be milked, the computer sends a message to the herdsman. The computer records the volume, temperature, milk fat, etc… of the cow’s output. The robots run 24/7 and the cows fall into a routine, bringing themselves to milk 2-3 times daily.  Blows my mind!
 
The cow stalls are filled with sand, not straw, as sand is much more inhospitable to microbes and macroinvertebrates.   An R2D2 type machine runs down the galley once an hour, pushing hay back into the stalls. Semen from the artificial insemination is screened so that only sperm with X chromosomes are used, which means all the calves are female.   (In the dairy industry, female calves are much more valuable, for obvious reasons.) I was awestruck.
 
We also visited USU’s chocolate factory (yes, there were samples!!) and their spider silk lab.  No spiders in the spider silk lab; they don’t need the spiders anymore because they have the genetic code for their proteins.  The proteins are produced by transgenic e-coli, alfalfa, silkworms and goats. The silkworms spin the proteins and the goats make them in their milk.  They don’t have spiders in the lab but they do have spider silk though and it is amazing. They are making fabrics, films, glues, and venous and arterial catheters with the proteins.   The products are amazingly strong, biotic, and unrecognized by the body as foreign. The challenge now is to produce the spider silk proteins in sufficient quantities. Currently it costs about $100/g to refine.   A small vial is worth the equivalent of a starter home.
 
As a part of the class we went to the Gossner cheese factory, a family owned business that specializes in swiss cheese.   Tours to the factory have been discontinued but they made a special exception for us. Our teacher asked us to be especially nice and gracious.    The boss of the plant welcomed us and asked us not to touch anything. “Especially do not touch the red cord,” he said. “It will shut the operation down and you will hear swear words.”
 
The tour was fascinating.   We started at the process’s beginning, with the truck bay where more than a million lbs of milk are delivered daily.    We saw huge tanks where the milk is warmed and the cultures are added. We saw huge tanks where the cheese is pressed and made into large (12 foot by 3 foot by 1 foot) loaves.   At the pressing place, we could see the loaf before it was pressed but I could not see the top of the loaf after the pressing process because the loaf was in a bin on a conveyer that was slightly taller than I.  Curious about how the pressed loaf looked, I tried to hop (just a little jump) to get a better view. Because I have feeble knees, I swung my arms a little to aid my jump. I did not hop high enough to view the loaf but I did manage to touch the red cord.     Yep. I shut down the machinery.    
 
As the room went silent, I realized what I had done.   Oh that there had been a hole that would have opened up to swallow me up!!!   I felt awful. AWFUL. Fortuitously, they were super gracious about it and were able to return the machines to  full activity within minutes but still….. I kept my hands clasped in front of me, fingers intertwined, for the rest of the tour.
 
Just for the record…..I do not believe in reincarnation.   But, if I were to be reincarnated and I had a choice, I would be sincerely tempted to come back as a USU student of Ag Science.   And I would NOT touch the red cord!

​

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A cow being milked while her herdmates wait their turn.
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Udder brushes (orange and yellow) do their job
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Inflations (red and white) do their job
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The udder brushes are cleaned and disinfected while the cow is being milked.
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A robot pushes the cows' hay back into the feeder.
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Synthetic spider silk proteins are made from copies of this spider's DNA.
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Spider silk proteins worth the value of a small starter home
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Uses of synthetic spider silk proteins
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These goats produce spider silk proteins in their milk.
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Unwinding cocoons of spider silk made by silk worms.
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Venous and arteriole catheters made from synthetic spider silk protiens
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Synthetic spider silk fabric
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The wood has been glued together using synthetic spider silk proteins.
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Synthetic spider silk
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Synthetic spider silk loom
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Over a million lbs of milk comes into this bay every day.
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Cultures are added in the bulk tank.
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Nothing like a nice brine bath!
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Coming out of the brine...
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Swiss cheese loaves ready for packaging.
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Swiss cheese spends about 2 months in the plant.
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    Author

    Teresa Hislop
    thislop@msn.com

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