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Cliff Edges and Mandatory Invitations

11/17/2013

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A parable is a succinct, didactic (love the word “didactic”!) story that illustrates one or more instructive lessons.   Parables are a teacher’s dream; didactic (meaning “designed or intended
to teach people something) and instructive, they give insight and promote understanding that is often inaccessible by other means.  Because all parents are teachers, parables are powerful in parent’s paws as well.   
 
Life is the stories you can tell…….and often there is a moral to the story.

Two Saturdays ago our fabulous friends, the aMAZing Mayes, again took us rock climbing.    Chick scaled a tricky face and then followed an ascending ledge.   At the ledge’s ending edge sat a significant boulder that had to be circumvented before one could finish the climb.   Somehow Chick found himself straddling the boulder, facing the clear, blue sky.  His position was great for conversing but it was not-so-great for climbing.   “I cannot see a way up”, he said repeatedly, as he sat there, apparently stuck, “I cannot see a way up.”

Of course he could not see a way up; he was not looking up.   He was looking down and out.   
If we want to go up, we need to look up.   When Chick turned, faced the mountain, and began looking, he found a way up and was soon at the top.  
 
Two or so weeks ago I gave my students the final test on the ecology unit.   I am fundamentally opposed and philosophically against giving students impossible tasks.   In the Teresa Hislop Book of Teaching everyone who earnestly tries should be able to earn 100% on my tests; the test is not easy but it is passable.    To this end, I give students very comprehensive review sheets.     The tests are long and complicated enough that the review sheet must be truly studied to be helpful—a casual glance will not do—but dedicated study will yield a high score.    During the class period before the test I encouraged and challenged the students, promising them high scores, if they would study.

Test day brought a mixed bag of results; most students did really well, thirteen students earned 100%, class averages were 80%, 88%, and 96% for three of my classes.  Some students really stepped up to the mark.   Two students, in particular, warmed my heart.  The two boys, neither of whom were stellar students, both earned 100%.  They clearly had faith in my promise and their faith brought forth the promised results.   There was a group of students in the fourth class, however, that showed little improvement from pre- to post scores.  They failed the test and there was a reason for their dismal showing; they do not think in class and they did not study at home.    “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. 
You can lead a student to knowledge but you can’t make him think.”   
 
I was so FRUSTRATED.   As I looked at their low scores I found myself agonizing internally.   “I gave you everything,
EVERYTHING, you needed to succeed.  All you had to do was use what I gave you!”

Suddenly time stopped as an insight pierced my lamentations.   It was as if I were experiencing our Heavenly Father’s feelings as He surveys us, His children, and laments over our sadness and turmoil.  
“I have given you everything, EVERYTHING,  you need to succeed.  All you have to do is use what I have given you.”   

It is true.  He has given us everything we need to succeed—the opportunity to converse directly with Him [prayer]; His written word to study and apply [scriptures]; the power to act in His name [priesthood]; covenants that protect us and bind us to Him [baptism, temple ordinances]; a spokesman to reveal His will to us in a chaotic, ever-changing world [a modern prophet]; children of God whom we can serve and  who serve us [neighbors and associates]; and, most significantly, a Savoir who, with His example, taught us how to live, who, with His blood and suffering, paid for our sins, and who, by rising from the dead, conquered death, giving all of us the gift of immortality [His Only Begotten Son, even Jesus Christ].     EVERYTHING.   All we need to do is use what we have been given.

Knowing that passing the test was within the capability of all my students, I gave those who did not pass the test a mandatory invitation to stay after school and study with me.    With proper motivation and individual guidance, they learned the material and passed the test.  It took some of them four or five mandatory after-school sessions, but they did it.   One young man,
who does have some learning challenges, studied, re-took the test, and scored lower on the second take (28%) than he had on the first (59%).   When he learned he had to pass the test before the mandatory invitations ceased, he took the review sheet home and studied in earnest.   He met me at 6:55 a.m. the next day (he did not want to stay after school
because it would mean he’d have to miss basketball practice), took the test, and earned 88%.    I was thrilled…..and so was he.  We rejoiced together.

All of the students who accepted my mandatory invitation passed the test.  All of them.  Some of them required extensive coaching.   With two or three, I had to read the test to them and discuss the possible answers with them.  Nonetheless, they choose the correct answers; they passed the test.   A few students chose detention over tutoring; they did not pass the test.       

Does Heavenly Father give us mandatory invitations?   That is a parable for another day……. :)  

For now, here are some stories that are certainly less significant and perhaps more interesting.

Chick is accepted by Utah State University.   Below you see a photo of him holding a banner that says “Instructions:  1) Place your hands in dotted lines.  2) Raise above head.  3) Run around screaming “I’m in!  I’m in! I’m an Aggie!”

Chick turned 18 about a month ago.   His levels of forgetfulness and absent mindfulness have not noticeably changed since the landmark event.

The fall plowing is done.  Add “Make homemade bread for Doug  Terry” to my to-do list.

Mature hens lay about 3 eggs every four days.   The 20 hens in our coop should be laying about 15 eggs per day.   For the past month I have been getting 1-2 eggs per day.    This is not good.

Grace made her junior high basketball team.  This is good.

“The Slipper and the Rose”, Roy High’s fall musical production, begins this week.   Tanah is the show’s star milk maid.   The
play opens Thursday evening at 7:00 and continues Friday, Saturday, and Monday.  Tickets are available online at
https://www.ezticketlive.com/checkout/eventbdate.asp?id=196 .   Prices are $7/adult, $20 for a family of four, $5 for 18 and under and 65 and older.  We, her nuclear family, will be there on opening night.

Maricia, Jakob and Sean recently joined the Church.   The boys are adorable, active 9 year old twins.  [Their conversion story is an interesting one….perhaps another day I will write it as well.]  The children sit with us in church and it feels like we have toddlers again; they simply have no experience being reverent and have no idea how to behave in a sacred place.    Last Sunday Jakob wanted to sit in our pew but did not want to squeeze past the people who were already sitting there so he simply entered the pew in front of his desired destination, put his hand on the back of the bench, and vaulted.    Just like that. 
His little body sailed gracefully over the pew and there he was, sitting next to the family.  I feared that Bishop Hansen, who was watching from the stand, was going to bust his gut, he was laughing so hard.

Given Aaron Roger’s injury induced absence from the Green Bay Packers and their consequent less-than-stellar performance, , Miles is now voting for the Denver Broncos to win the Super Bowl.  He is still a Packer's fan however.  The number one thing on his "I-want-for-Christmas-or-my-birthday-list" is a Green Bay Cheese Head.

Orville Redenbacher’s has specialty lime and salt popcorn that is really tasty.

Tanah looks great in contacts; her eyes are as big as or bigger than her dimples.

Lance likes me.

Love,
 Teresa


FYI:  Do you know the difference between parables and fables?    Parables feature human characters while fables utilize plants, animals, inanimate objects, and/or forces of nature.    Now you know. 

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"I'm am Aggied!"
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Randee looks so graceful as she climbs up and down mountains......no wonder Kevin takes her!!!
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Mr. Miles the Mountain Goat
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Climbing is not the only thing one can do with rocks.
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Kevin clearly enjoys the scenery!!
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Miss Grace the Cliff Hanger
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Watch this!
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Souls

11/10/2013

4 Comments

 
PicturePeter in 1993. He was only two years old with 22,000 miles.
I guess it is only appropriate that, on our 19th wedding anniversary, I declare that Lance is the only man in my life;  Peter is gone.

Peter’s passing was much more painful than I
anticipated.   Though he has sat, immobile, in
our driveway for several months, still he was there.  And now he is not.

The man who showed up to collect Peter was not the uniformed, professional-looking mechanic-type I was expecting to see after
having made an appointment with an auto salvage company.   He came clothed in ragged jeans and  a used-to-be white t-shirt, worn under a holey, plaid flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up. His hair was longish

PicturePeter in 2013. He was 22 years old with 266,000 miles.
and greasy, his hands calloused and greasy as well.  (I expected his hands to be in that condition.)   His wife, who came with him, had a similar appearance.  
 
He looked at Peter, started him, listened to his engine, and said, “I would hate to junk this truck.  I think with the right care, you could get 30 to 40,000 more miles out of it.”  He continued, “Of course, getting him to run is not a certainty and would take a lot of work.   There was a good chance it would have to be junked anyway.”   The man offered me a salvage price for my  truck.

My hopes soared.   Thirty thousand more miles would mean at least two more years at the rate we put miles on him!   Two more years with Peter!!!!   Then reality hit.   “…with the right care….”   Lance and I cannot heal Peter.   He is in need of intensive care and prolonged physical therapy which is neither within our areas of expertise nor within the realms of our budget.    It would be best to let him go.

As I was pondering Peter’s fate, the unlikely-salvage man said that he had a Toyota 4Runner in his front yard that he thought he could scavenge for parts for Peter.    He also mentioned his need for a truck that did not consume as much gasoline as the big four-wheel drive monster he currently drove. And he told me about his boss, an 80 year old man who “would give you the shirt off his back.  He basically pulled me and my wife off the street a few years ago and gave us a new start.”   
 
His sincere sounding story and the realization that keeping Peter was impractical coupled to make my decision.  Through an emotional constriction in my throat that made talking difficult, I told him I would sell him my truck.   

As the salvage-man-turned-savior worked to remove Peter’s license plate, he said, “I notice you always refer to your truck as ‘he’.   What is his name?”

“Peter,” I managed to choke out.

Peter’s new friend told me several stories about cars he and his wife had named: Willus and Wanda were a few.  “We called it Willis because every time we got in it we asked “Willus get there in this car?”.  The other car’s heater did not work and my son always said, ‘I wan-da get warm’  so we called her ‘Wanda’.  Why did you name your truck Peter?” he asked casually.

My answer was not casual.   Thinking about naming Peter and about the 20 years I spent traveling the nation with him, sleeping in his bed in the back country, using him as the family car until the third child arrived, etc… caused the tears that had been forming in my eyes to spill over.   Attempting (and failing) to feign  rationality, I explained, “I named him Peter because it seemed to fit him.  I was single for a long time.  When I needed to, I could say ‘Peter is waiting outside for me.’”  Then my tears began in earnest.  Fortunately, I was able to choke back the sobs.

Do cars have souls?   The logical answer is “Of course not.”   How, then, can I love that 1991 Toyota truck so much?   Why
did it hurt so deeply to let go of him?    And, does not love bring life?    Could my love bring life to my little truck?   

Peter was just a truck.   I know that.  Still, I loved him and all that he stood for and all that he did with and for me. It brings comfort to my heart to think that he may now be blessing the lives of another family.   Long live Peter!

Trucks probably do not have souls but people definitely do and some kind-souled person blessed the life of my daughter last night.    Here is the story.

Two weeks ago Tanah called me at school.  “Mom,” she said urgently, “when is Sara’s wedding?” [Sara Stoffers is Lance’s
cousin.]

“November 9th,” I replied.

“Oh no!” Tanah practically wailed.  “I have a debate tournament that day.”

“Okay,” said I.

“No, it is NOT okay,” she said vehemently.  “I already committed to the debate tournament.  If I back out now, I have to pay
$75.”

“It sounds like you have a tough decision to make,” I said matter-of-factly.  “I do not have $75 to give you.   You will have to decide if it is worth $75 to you to attend the wedding.”
…….long pause…….
Compassion intruded and I continued. “It is okay not to go,” I said gently.  “Honestly, it is okay not to go.   Of course Sara
would love to have you there but she really will understand if you cannot come.   It will not diminish her special day if you do not attend.   There will be so much else going on that your absence will not have an impact.   And,” I continued, “I can step in
and do the things she asked you to do [serving tables, taking gifts].”
……..long pause……….
“Do you have time to pray about it or do you have to decide right now?” I asked.

“Right now,” she said.

“Good luck,” I said.

Tanah decided to go to the wedding.

Last Sunday was her birthday.  At the end of the day she came to me and said, “I got exactly $75 for my birthday.   I can use it to pay to go to Sara’s wedding.”    The quiver in her voice said that she was not thrilled about using her birthday money to attend the wedding but her resolve remained firm.  She would be attending Sara’s wedding.

Yesterday was Sara’s wedding.   Small and intimate, it was truly a family event.    Sara’s dress was stunning; Jennilyn’s jokes were funny; seeing Monte dance with his mother made me cry.    And Tanah was there, celebrating with us.   She bused tables; she served soup; she danced; she laughed; she made the right decision.

There was an envelope waiting for her in the mail box when we got home.   Inside the envelope was a cute card that said "Sweet Sixteen" …..and $75 cash.   Voice quivering, this time with awe instead of pain, she said “I can pay the debate fee and still have my birthday money.”  

Thank you, thank you kind soul, whoever you are, for enabling my daughter to make the right decision AND keep her birthday
money.

Love,
Teresa  



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Sara and Dan
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Tanah dancing with cousin Wakely
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Andy, Lance, and Chris serving Sara....and ice cream!
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Grace dancing with brother Chick.
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4 Comments

Time and Season

11/3/2013

1 Comment

 
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There is a time and season for all things.  Fall is the season.  [There was a skiff of snow on the ground this morning.]  The times are listed below.

6:00 a.m. Saturday, 2 November 2013
Teresa:  “Tanah, what time do you need to get up to be to the debate tournament on time?”
Tanah:  “Just a minute.   Let me count my toes.”
Teresa:  “What?”
Tanah:   “Let me count my toes.”
Teresa:  “Did you just say ‘Let me count my toes’?”
Tanah:  “Yes.”
Teresa:  “I don’t think you are awake because that did not make sense.”
…..long pause…..
Tanah:  “You are right.”

Tanah and her ten toes (I assume there are 10; I don’t think they were ever officially counted…) did eventually get out of bed in time to get to the debate tournament.  She did not do so well at the tournament but she did make it home with all her toes.

1:34 p.m. Sunday, 3 November 2013
Tanah is 16 years old.   (This has been officially counted.)

God is good even when I am not.   For over a year Tanah has daydreamed about and fantasy planned her 16th birthday party.   It was to be a huge princess party.  She and her friends would rent “The Barn”, decorate it like a castle, dress up like royalty, and spend an enchanted evening dancing, laughing, eating, and celebrating.     Like a castle in the air, the party never materialized.   Tanah has been too busy with homework and debate to plan it and I have been too busy with home work and Havasupai to pick up the slack.  So………nothing.   No friends, no food, no fun.   Nothing.  She was devastated; I was guilt-ridden.

I asked Heavenly Father what to do and was told to give her flowers….or rather He told me to buy flowers and give them to others to give them to her.   Yesterday I bought 24 yellow roses and 24 cards.   Last night I contacted 24 people all of whom agreed to participate.  This morning Lance and I delivered roses and cards to the 24 participants.   This afternoon 24 people delivered a rose and a card to Tanah.   The house was full of people who love Tanah and Tanah was filled by the love of those who filled the house.    It was awesome.

 BTW:  Thank you to all of you who gave Tanah a flower.    And thanks to all of you who would have given her a flower if Ihad given one to you.  And a zillion apologies to Aunt Linda and Uncle Don for failing to give  them a flower.   It was an
unfortunate mistake, not an intentional oversight.

8:15 p.m. Thursday, 31 October 2013 (Halloween)
I was in bed asleep which, for me, is the PERFECT place to be on the night of Halloween.   My darling husband took the kids on our trick-or-treating route so I was able to go to bed early.   I turned off the light at 8:14 p.m. and I am completely confident that I was fully asleep at 8:15.   Love it!!!!

4:32 p.m. Wednesday, 30 October 2013
I returned from teaching to find strawberry tops randomly left all over the kitchen.  Lots on the counter, some on the table, a few on the shoe cubby, several on the stove, one in the mail basket; there they sat, green, leafy tops rimmed by strawberry
remnants.   The strawberry eaters had consumed the fruit and carelessly dropped the stems wherever they happened to be when they took the final bite.    Really?  [Sadly, yes.] Hasn’t their mother taught them to put trash in the garbage can?  [Sadly, no.]

 
6:46 p.m. Sunday, 27 October 2013
Kevin Mayes asked “When are you going to expand your repertoire?”
"What?” I asked
“When are you going to expand your repertoire?” he repeated.
“My repertoire?” I echoed, puzzled.
“Yes,” said he. “When are you going to expand from hiking and go rock climbing?”
“The second someone invites me to go rock climbing,” I responded immediately and emphatically.

2:37 p.m. Saturday, 2 November 2013
We (Kevin Mayes, Josh Johnston, Miles, Grace, Chick, and I, Randee Mayes joined us later) left Roy, rock bound.   Within the hour I was roped in and gingerly climbing a cliff face. OH MY LANDS!!!   What an experience!

Compelled by the need to present a confident example, I volunteered to go first.   I was just a few feet off the ground when the experience became very scary.   Where in the world was a hand hold?   And how could I possibly hold on to a sliver of rock long enough to raise my foot to the next toe spot?   After what seeme  like a LONG time spent clinging to the rock face, I decided that going rock climbing was a huge mistake, that I was too old and too weak and that I would never be able to do it.    However, having decided that there was NO WAY I could do it, I could not decide how to get back down without giving up….and giving up was not something I wanted to do in front of Kevin and it certainly was not something I wanted to model for my children so I didn’t; I didn’t give up, I did go up.    
 
“There is always a way” is one of my oft used mantras.   I gave myself the “There Is Always a Way” lecture and began earnestly looking for a way.  Before I knew it, I was two-thirds the way up, way too far along to back down and way too engaged to want to turn back.    I did not do it quickly, I did not do it  gracefully, but I did do it.   I made it to the top and I cannot wait to do it again!  It was hard, it was scary, it was challenging, it was almost impossible, and it was AWESOME!

Grace wiggled, weaseled, and writhed her way up two different pitches.  Miles fell (and swung) on his first attempt, swore he would NEVER do it again, made a second (successful) attempt, and cannot wait to do it again.

Kevin and Randee invited us go rock climbing again this Saturday.  We let them convince us that they enjoy climbing with novices and graciously accepted their invitation.   WHAAA-WHOOO!

The season is still fall [though the skiff of snow is gone] but the time has changed.  Now it is time to go to bed.   Good night!

Love,
Teresa


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This is a stretch....in more ways than one!
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Chick long arms it up the cliff.
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Grace has much more determination than skill.
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Rock climbing pictures are butt pictures.
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Chick strong arms it up the cliff.
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Determination takes a person a long ways. In this case, it took Grace to the top.....twice!
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Randee does it with grace.
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Going up is fun.
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Kevin does it with strength.
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Coming down is more fun.
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This is NOT a Halloween costume.
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Holly made this cake for Tanah's birthday.
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Brittiny made these Dr. Who shoes for Tanah's birthday.
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Tanah made this smile for her birthday.
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    Teresa Hislop
    thislop@msn.com

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