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Hope Helps

3/31/2019

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Last week I wrote about hope’s painful aspects.  This week I write about hope on a different note, in hopes that I am able to express its power.  


Martin Luther King said  “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”  

AMEN!   Though hope hurts occasionally, hope is an eternal spring, in many senses of the word, and must never be relinquished.    Like a coiled spring, hope helps us bounce back from life’s disappointments. “I have a 100% success rate of living through tough times,” Brad Wilcox quipped.   The sun WILL come out tomorrow, Pain will fade, aches will heal, friendships will form, love will manifest. These are timeless truths. Hope carries us into the tomorrows where healing happens.

Just as a liquid spring brings a mountain side to life, giving sustenance to creatures from mountain sheep to rock chucks and making it possible for vibrant wildflowers to decorate the hillsides, so hope gives sustenance to dreams and makes life vibrant with anticipated possibilities.    And life is vibrant with possibilities.   Every day, EVERY day, happy things happen.  The sun comes up. Birds sing. Flowers bloom.  Children laugh. People help other people. And most days happy things happen to me.   Children laugh at my jokes. Flowers bloom in my yard. People help me. And occasionally AMAZING things happen to me...a kind message from a caring bishop, an invitation to participate in a specialized professional development course, a hesitant “I love you” from a shy student…

Hope is a motivating force.  Sometimes it drives me to do unpleasant things….Hope for plump raspberries compels me to spread sheep poop on the berry rows.   Hope for a not-plump belly prompts me to decline a second helping of chocolate cake. (Some hopes are more grounded in reality than others…)   Sometimes hope invites me to to take risks, to do things like try new recipes, sign up for a bike relay from Salt Lake to St. George, and get married (which, incidentally, was a risk that has turned out well for me…)  Hoping to share light and love and hope with others, I write an almost-weekly blog.

Hope powers my life.  It permeates all that I do.  I hope my day will be good so I get up.   I hope my students will learn so I prepare engaging activities.   I hope my garden will grow so I plant seeds. I hope my children will be happy so I give advice.  {Sometimes my hope-inspired actions are shaky but the hope remains solid!) Hope has me checking my texts for a kind word and my mailbox for a kind card.  And it happens! Kind cards, caring texts, happy children, ripe tomatoes, science literate students, and good days come!! Not every day, Not even every week.   Some days are simply bad, some students don’t learn, some seasons tomatoes don’t grow and sometimes loved ones suffer for a long time…..but not always and not forever. The sun will come out in a coming tomorrow.   Where there is life, there is hope.

In fact, hope is vital to life and hopelessness can be fatal.  Viktor Frankl, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, said   “Those who know how close the connection is between the state of mind of a man­, ­his courage and hope, or lack of them­ ­and the state of immunity of his body will understand that sudden loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect”.  To prove his point, Frankl referenced the high death rate in Auschwitz in 1994 between Christmas and New Years. When people who had hoped to be home by Christmas found themselves still imprisoned, they lost hope and died in record numbers.  

While it is true that hope hurts, it is also true that hope brings life.   An analogy to love is helpful here. Love, like hope, hurts. It hurts to love and lose.  It especially hurts to lose a loved one. But pain is the price we pay to love and is worth the “utmost farthing” that it demands in payment.   “Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” is a truism. So it is with hope. It is much less painful to hope and hurt than it is to be without hope.

Earlier I related two definitions of the word spring to hope.  Coiled springs represent hope’s ability to help us bounce back.  Mountain springs epitomize hope’s life giving essence and its ability to infuse beauty into our existence.  In conclusion I want to relate hope to a third definition of spring, that of seasonal spring. Coiled springs can lose their snap and mountain springs may run dry but seasonal springs always come.   They may come in wet and cold and nasty but they always come. Spring always follows winter. Tulips bloom, robins return, and grass grows green again. Hope springs eternal.

Christ, the author of life and love, gives us hope.   “Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having a love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.”   (Alma 13:29) When earth’s days seem dark and literal spring brings no relief to the deeply saddened soul, there is hope in Christ. Trusting in Him, we will feel His love and can legitimately hope to enter into His rest in a coming day.    The Son will come out in a coming tomorrow.

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Hope Hurts

3/24/2019

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Several years ago, my boss nominated me for a national science teaching award.  Having been told repeatedly that I am a fabulous teacher (and believing it to be true), I was confident I would win.   I spend an entire spring break preparing the application. Page and pages of personal essays, hours of research to document my assertions, nearly an hour of video footage showcasing my instructional prowess… My hopes of winning the award were so strong that I already had plans for the $10,000 awarded the winner; I would buy my dream “car”, a four wheel drive truck.   I fantasized about the reactions of friends and family, in my mind I read and re-read the newspaper articles I assumed would be written, and I enjoyed the respect I imagined winning the award would earn me.

I did not win the award.   In fact, I was not even selected as one of Utah’s five finalists.

I was devastated, humiliated and chagrined.  I questioned everything from my teaching ability to my self worth.  Nothing seemed certain any more. I had hoped so much….and it hurt so bad.  SO BAD.

Miles loves football and has loved it, passionately, for a long, long time.   Finally, in fifth grade, he talked us into letting him play Little League football.   Though he was not large (“I’m the 23rd tallest one in my class [of 25]” he told me once) he was very passionate.   During practice Miles was the kid who always gave 100% effort.  He ran to the drills, he ran through the drills and he from the drills back to the starting line.   He ran at the first of the pack when they ran laps and ran back to the coach when called into a huddle.  He loved football with all his heart and he gave all his heart to football.

Due to his small size and lack of experience, he did not get much game time as a fifth grader.   He did not grow much over the year--he was still one of the smallest on the team--but he had gained experience and he entered his sixth grade season fully intending to be a powerful force for his team.   In his mind, his hard work and whole-hearted effort the year before had earned him the right to play. His hopes ran high.

His hopes ran high but his playing time did not.   Game after game after game, he watched the action from the sidelines.   Every Saturday he started the game full of hope and every Saturday he exited the game full of hurt---pain caused not by being hit on the playing field but by not being able to play on the field.  He had hoped so much….and it hurt so bad. SO BAD.

Grace looked forward to being drama club president her entire junior year.   She wanted to be drama club president. It seemed the advisor wanted her to be drama club president.   Members of her drama club family wanted her to be president. Many spoke of her appointment as president as a foregone conclusion.   Assuming the inevitability of the her presidency she schemed and dreamed about her presidency...projects she’d promote, activities she’d sponsor, traditions she’d honor, etc…  Being drama club president would be the capstone of her senior year.

And then she was asked to be treasurer.  Not even vice-president. Treasurer. She had hoped so much...and it hurt so bad.  SO BAD.

So, if hope hurts (and it does) and if pain in unpleasant (which it is) then it seems obvious that it would be a good idea to stop hoping.  Don’t hope, don’t hurt, right? Wrong. A life without hope would be….hopeless. And hopelessness is NOT a good idea for many, many reasons.    So, are we destined to hope and hurt?

As I pondered the hope hurts issue, I wrestled with my doctrinal knowledge that hope is one of the three great virtues of Christianity.  Christ said “...faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me--the fountain of all righteousness.” (Ether 12:28) If hope is painful, why is it one of Christianity’s cornerstones?

My “ah ha” moment came when I realized there is a difference between hopes earthly and hopes eternal.   Hopes based on things of this world will be painful at times. (See above.) There will also be times when our terrestrial hopes bring great rejoicing.  Saturday Miles hit the game-winning three point shot for his basketball team, something he has always hoped to do. Believe me, there has been much rejoicing.   Hoping for things, events, occasions, attitudes or altitudes in this life is painful sometimes and sometimes it is not. Hope’s variable schedule of reinforcement keeps up hoping (and sometimes hurting) and that is good, much better than the sterile world of hopelessness.

Hopes earthly are good.   Hopes eternal are powerful.  Eternal hopes are based on Christ.   Eternal hopes center on Him and His promises.  When we have faith in Christ we “hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal.” (Moroni 7:41)  Hope in Christ helps. “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) It gives us confidence that “all will work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28)    Hope in Christ offers us the peace “that passeth understanding” (Philippians 4:7) and gives us a solid foundation upon which we can build our lives. Hope in Christ is a cornerstone of Christianity precisely because it is not painful; it is a cornerstone because it overcomes pain.   Hope in Christ does not hurt.

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https://pixabay.com/images/search/hope/
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Great Grandfathers Be Proud

3/17/2019

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Both great grandfathers would be proud…

Miles bought a bike Thursday.   He saw a bike listed on KSL for $75.  New the bike costs $120.

When we went to see it, it had a flat tire.  I sincerely counseled Miles not to buy a bike he could not test ride and suggested we return with a bike pump.   The owner, who had an appointment to do his taxes and so was eager to get us (and the bike) off his property, immediately dropped the price to $50 if we would take it as it was, then and there..   

After turning the bike upside down and running it through the gears and after checking the brakes---everything worked--Miles offered the guy $40.   My jaw dropped. The man had already knocked $25 off the price. Where did Miles get the cajones to ask him to further reduce the price? The man countered with an offer to charge $45.   Miles paused as if to think about it…..[Wait for it. Wait for it….] ….. While he was pausing the man (and he was a man….probably in his 30’s) said, “Okay. You can have it for $40.”

As Miles loaded his $120/$40 bike into the back of the truck I all but felt his great-grandfather’s smiles.   Wright Hambleton Noel and Curtis Taylor Hislop knew how to “jew”* too.

*Both Lance and I’s grandfathers used the word “jew” as a verb that meant “to reduce the asking price by bargaining astutely”.   Lance was in his 30’s before he learned the word had racial associations. To our grandfathers being able to jew someone down was a admirable skill and attributing that skill to someone was a huge compliment.


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Curtis Taylor Hislop
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Wright Hambleton and Marjorie Dionne Noel
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Marbles, Games, and The Saran Wrap Incident

3/10/2019

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Finding ourselves with a free evening and a fun game, we spontaneously invited Justin and Alicia over to play.   Alicia and I beat the boys in the first round of The Marble Game….and I have conveniently forgotten who won the next two rounds.  Good times!. As they were preparing to leave, I took a box containing a large (and heavy) roll of plastic wrap from the bottom cupboard.  As I lifted it, the end of the box gave way and the large (and heavy) roll of plastic wrap shot across the kitchen. It came to rest, suddenly and violently, on the bridge of Lance’s foot.   He howled and ran to the other room. The foot was very swollen, bruised and very, very sore. [We have come to refer to this as The Saran Wrap Incident.]

Lance and I spontaneously showed up at Sandy’s house last Sunday with The Marble Game (we left the roll of plastic at home) and played it with Sandy, Tawny, and several of Sandy’s grandchildren.   Monday we took ourselves to Aunt Linda’s and coerced her into playing the Marble Game with us. Blaine came to visit us this week. Guess what we did? Yep! ...Played The Marble Game.
Tanah and I trounced Miles and Lance one evening in a series of Marble Games. The next weekend they returned the favor.  .  


Come play with us!   We cannot guarantee a trouncing but we can assure you a great time.    And we promise to leave the plastic wrap in the cupboard!


FYI:  The Marble Game is a handcrafted board game made by Stan Nielsen is Willard, UT.   It is a like a game of Sorry on steroids, played in teams (4, 6 or 8 players), and is very addictive.


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Imagine the edge of this landing on the bridge of your foot.....
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Repentance and the Path

3/3/2019

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PictureGraphic borrowed from: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/change/repentance/

I want to be exactly obedient.  I want to be exactly obedient not just because I want miracles.   In fact, not even mainly because I want to be a part of miracles. I want to be exactly obedient because I love God.   I really do. And because I love Him I really, really want to obey Him. Exactly. I want to be exactly obedient. Not partially obedient, not mostly obedient, not sloppily obedient, not letter-of-the-law obedient.   Exactly obedient.

Exactly obedient but not perfectly obedient.  Perfect obedience implies that one does not make mistakes which is impossible.   It is also not part of God’s plan. We are here to learn from our experiences. A vital part of our mortal education is learning from our mistakes.  In order to learn from our mistakes, we must make them. Exact obedience does not mean that we don’t make mistakes. It means that we correct them quickly once we recognize them.   We make course corrections as soon as we realize we are off course.

Brother Joseph M. Brough said, "I am sure that I do not completely understand what exact obedience means, but here is what I have come to understand.  It is not perfect obedience; that is impossible. Hence, repentance must be a key part of exact obedience." http://www.byui.edu/devotionals/brother-m-joseph-brough

"Repentance must be a part of exact obedience."   I love this!!! Sometimes we think repentance is only for when we screw up.  Not so. Repentance is part of the path, not just a way to get us back on the path.

Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught about repentance:  “When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God….The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to ‘re-turn’ toward God [see Helaman 7:17]. It is the beckoning of a loving Father and His Only Begotten Son to be more than we are, to reach up to a higher way of life, to change, and to feel the happiness of keeping the commandments. Being disciples of Christ, we rejoice in the blessing of repenting and the joy of being forgiven. They become part of us, shaping the way we think and feel.” (Neil L. Andersen, Oct. 2009 general conference.)
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Life’s path holds many twists some of which turn me away from my Lord.  I rejoice in the blessing of repenting, in the opportunity to re-turn toward Him!

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    Author

    Teresa Hislop
    thislop@msn.com

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