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Trust = Peace

10/28/2018

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

When my dad lost the dairy, it was HARD TIMES for him and my sweet mother for years--almost 5 years--- but Mom and Dad stayed firm in the faith and it all worked out.   In fact their move to Toledo turned out to be an incredible blessing both for Dad’s career and for their retirement.

When I was single for a years---almost 10 years--it was HARD TIMES. At one point I was certain that all the good men in the world were either related to me, already married or both.   I remember fighting back tears as I walked down the cereal aisle of the grocery store because I looked a Cheerio box, remembered eating cereal on Sundays with my family, and realized I was alone. But I remained true to the faith and I have been hugely blessed.

When Lance’s business and our marriage was failing it was HARD TIMES for years--over 10 years.   I distinctly remember looking out the bathroom window one day and realizing that my life sucked. I was immensely unhappy. “How did I get here?” I wondered. Lance had separate but similar feelings. But we stayed true to the faith and it all worked out.    We have been blessed beyond measure.

As I have looked back on those hard times I marvel at the angst I experienced that I did not have to. If I had just had faith, if I had just trusted more in the Lord, my God, I would not have suffered so much.   I would have shed fewer tears for my father. I would have enjoyed the freedom of my single years so much more. If I had trusted God more I would not have been so blinded by my pain and would have been freed to better help Lance with his.   Oh the angst, heartache, anxiety, and soul wrenching pain I could have avoided if I had just trusted my God! If I had just trusted Him that it would all work out…...

There are hard times looming on the horizon.   We are bringing in only a third of the income to which we are accustomed. Un-serendipitously we have also had thousands of dollars of extra expenses--braces, wisdom teeth removal, property taxes due, van repair. My must-have-money-in-savings soul could be seriously distressed. Additionally our children--who are all fabulous people, by the way!!--have challenges. My mommy heart could be torn and tormented.

But I am at peace.   Trust is the path I am taking this time.   It will all work out.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

“ These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

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City of Rocks

10/21/2018

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Fall break brings a break from school and, if one is proactive, a break from work/eat/sleep routine. Friday we broke out of the city of Roy. UT and legally entered (you thought I was going to write “broke into”, didn’t you?) the City of Rocks, ID where we saw all sorts of interesting creatures, including (but not limited to…) a duck-billed platypus, a turtle, a bear, a dog, a reindeer, a killer whale, the reflection of an incredibly fabulous young man and Horton’s Whoville.

What we did not see was a pinon pine in the back of the van. Michelle fell in love with the pinon pine’s shape and lustily made plans to bring one to her back yard. Her son, Brandon, rigorously opposed her plans. When pointing out the questionable legality of removing plants from a national reserve did not deter his determined mother, he cited the practical problem. “We do not have a shovel,” he observed.

Ever helpful, I told them I did, in fact, have a shovel in the back of the van.

Ever observant, Joe commented, “See Brandon, you are traveling with prepared women."

Ever witty, Brandon responded, “Yea, I am traveling with women prepared to commit a misdemeanor….”

I am happy to report that no misdemeanors (nor felonies) were committed. We did not even break anything. What we did do was have an amazing day among some incredible rock formations. And, as mentioned, we saw some interesting creatures. Can you see what we saw?

Bear head (...as opposed to a bare head,...)

Duck-billed platypus

One-eyed alien sticking out its tongue..... (Notice its cute ears!!)

Turtle sticking its neck out...

Killer whale coming up out of the rock-solid sea....

Stone man climbing up the crevice

Guard dog

Reindeer (...not Rudolph...)

Horton's Whoville

Dinosaur vertebrae

The path less traveled by.....

The path more traveled by....

Tea kettle

Reflection of an incredibly fabulous young man (my favorite!!!)

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Falling Through the Window

10/14/2018

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It is window closing time!!   During the summer the windows are shut tight to protect our expensive cooled air.   In the winter the windows are shut tight to protect our only slightly less expensive heated air.   During the spring and fall the windows are wide open to protect our budget (A.C. and heater are turned off)…..and to please me.     I love, LOVE the smell and feel of real air circulating in our home.

The transition of seasons brings a transition of window habits.   They go from open only at night, to open all the time, to open only during the day, to not open at all.   This week when the inside thermostat read 53 degrees and Miles asked if he could take a bath to warm up before going to school, I decided it was time to close the windows at night. Bummer.

Closed windows indicate others things as well.   It is grape juicing season and my garden grazing opportunities are almost gone.   This week I put 213 quarts of grape juice into jars and picked the last of my peppers. (I did not pick a peck nor did I pickle any…..) I can still graze a bit on figs, raspberries, and cherry tomatoes but those too will shortly be gone. Soon the only thing I will be able to eat when I go outside is sheep grain. (I suppose I could eat the chicken food if I wanted but it does not taste very good….).

Fall also brings the petting zoo to OPA.   Oh my lands….Watching my city kids go from scared to touch a chicken, to petting it, to holding it, to catching it, to teaching others how to catch it is truly delightful.   This year the proceeds from the petting zoo will go towards paying the the trailer we tipped on the Oregon trip. Speaking of the trailer, thank SO much to those of you who donated.   In response to the blog plea, we received $1000 worth of love and support. I am so, SO grateful.

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Come to Christ Moment: How Firm a Foundation

10/7/2018

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Several Sacrament meetings ago, our beloved Bishop challenged us to reflect on the moment when we came to Christ. Other Christian denominations, he explained, place a great emphasis on a personal conversion experience, on the specific moment in time when they recognized Christ as their personal Savior and accepted Him as such.   Denominations aside, he continued, all of us, as followers of Christ, must come unto Him. He invited everyone in the congregation to reflect on their “come unto Christ” moments. I accepted his invitation and will now share my reflections with you.

When I was a college student, working in the Uinta mountains in Utah as a Pioneer Trek Ma, my father was in the process of losing the family dairy in Idaho. His hard work was not enough to overcome harsh financial conditions. The dairy and the accompanying acreage would soon belong to the bank and he, my mom, and three of my younger siblings would soon be homeless and, I feared, hopeless.

I felt helpless.   What could I do? Concerns for my family plagued me while distance and lack of resources crippled me.   Though I ached for my mother and siblings, my greatest fear was for my father. I could only imagine the pain he felt….the feelings of failure, of letting his family down, the concern for the future, wondering how he would feed and clothe his family tomorrow, much less provide for future needs.

One Sunday afternoon I took my heavy heart for a walk in the woods.   Internal prayers became external as I vocalized my concerns about my dad to my Father. “Help him,” I pled. “Please help him.” Help came. As I wandered I was led to sing and as I sang I was led to the hymn “How Firm a Foundation”.   Timidly I began my solo.

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

I knew Dad was a faithful man.   I knew that, in this trial, he had turned to his Savior.   Assured by this knowledge I sang on…

In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

The hymn became a metered answer to chaotic prayers. “....in poverty’s vale….” The song perfectly described my dad---he had built his foundation on Christ and he was in poverty’s vale.   The verse’s promise--that my father would be succored by his Savior, was reaffirmed by the Spirit. I began to know that my dad would be okay.

I sang on, my voice and confidence growing.
,
Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

Fear not! FEAR NOT!!!   My fear fled. God would help Dad.   My dad would be upheld by the righteous, omnipotent hand of the Almighty God!!!!    It was going to be okay!!!!!

I sang on.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

Yes, yes, yes….. Dad had been called to go through deep waters, sorrow had certainly been his, but God was with him….WITH HIM!   Not only with him but building him, blessing him, sanctifying him. My God was with my dad!

I sang louder (though probably not better)--hope replacing helplessness, faith replacing fear--until I got to the final verse.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

I knew my dad. I knew his foundation.   I knew, without doubt, that in his fiery trial he had leaned on Jesus. And, as I sang the final verse of this sacred song, I knew that Christ would honor my father’s faith. As I sang the song’s promise, it was as if Christ Himself were speaking directly to me. Hell was endeavoring to shake my dad but it would not work.   Jesus Christ, the Lord Omnipotent, Alpha and Omega, the Almighty God promised me that He would never, no never, NO NEVER forsake my father.

I knew as clearly as I knew the sun rises in the the morning, that the Son of God would raise Dad.   Dad did not need my help because he had His.

Dad had come to Christ. And so had I.

POST NOTE: It did turn out okay for Dad, better than okay actually, one could say fabulously.   It took awhile….a transfer to the Pacific coast, living in a converted chicken coop for a month or two, working at several different jobs, going back to school….but eventually Dad became Assistant Principal at Toledo High School where he positively affected literally hundreds of lives and secured a retirement income that has enabled he and mom to serve four missions, own their own home, and live securely and comfortably.

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Trust = Peace

City of Rocks

Falling Through the Window

Come to Christ Moment: How Firm a Foundation

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