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What Are the Chances?

4/24/2016

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After removing the contact from my eye, I reached one-handed for the contact case.   My right contact was carefully balanced on my right forefinger as I carefully extended my left hand…..but not carefully enough.   I watched in one-eyed dismay—the contact was still in my left eye so I was able to see if perfectly though monocularly—as the contact case lid bounced from the cupboard onto the sink and from the sink onto the toilet seat and from the toilet seat into the toilet bowel.   Dismay turned to horror as I saw it settle in yellow-tinted water atop a brown “log”.
 
“What are the chances?” I moaned inwardly.  
 
Seriously, what are the chances?!!??!?!    What are the chances that the contact case lid would make not one, not two but three bounces that culminated in its entrance into a round bowl, not more than a foot in diameter?    If I had intentionally tried a three- bounce maneuver to get the contact lid into the toilet, I’d have never in a million years have made it.   Heck, if I tried to toss the lid into the toilet—forget the bounces—my chances of making it were slim at best.   
 
And what are the chances that the toilet lid was open at the time?   It often isn’t….
 
And what are the chances that the toilet was not flushed at the time?   It often is…..  (usually, in fact!)
 
And, honestly, what are the chances that all three conditions happened simultaneously, at the same time that I inadvertently bumped the lid of my contact case from its resident shelf in the bathroom vanity?  Chances of that happening are not good…..
 
The experience got me thinking about chances….specifically about MY chances….
 
What are the chances that I would be born in a free country?
  • 18.7% of the world’s population is Chinese; 4.3% live in the U.S.A.  (http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/)
 
What are the chances that I would be born in an economically developed country?
  • 17.9% of the world’s population lives in India.  (http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/)
 
What are the chances that I would live through the first five years of my life? 
  •  In 2015, the under-five mortality rate in low-income countries was 76 deaths per 1000 live births – about 11 times the average rate in high-income countries (7 deaths per 1000 live births). (http://www.who.int/gho/child_health/mortality/mortality_under_five_text/en/)
 
What are the chances that I would be taught to read?
  • In 2010, 61 million primary-aged school children were not enrolled in school; 47% of those children never will enroll.   In 2012 31 million primary-school aged children dropped out of school and another 32 million had to repeat a grade.  (https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-education-around-world)
 
What are the chances I would be able to roam mountains, explore valleys, and raft rivers?
  • India has a population density of 1,156 people/square mile; China 381 people/square mile; USA 92 people/square mile.  (http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/)
 
What are the chances that I would live a childhood free of abuse?
  • In the US, 1 in 5 girls are sexually abused. https://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics)
 
What are the chances that I would be a healthy (relatively!) adult?
  • 11% of Americans have heart disease and  an average of 420 in  every 100,000 were diagnosed with cancer in 2012.  One in ten people have diabetes.  (http://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/stats/)
 
What are the chances that I would be born in a home where I would be taught about my Savior?
  • Only 31.5% of the world is Christian (http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/)
 
And, honestly, what are the chances of all those things—freedom, education, health, economic prosperity, sexual safety, environmental availability, Christianity—happening simultaneously to me?    Chances of that happening are not good….
 
The chances of that happening are not good but the chances that happened to me are.  In fact, my chances are more than good.    The chances that happened to me—MY CHANCES—are glorious.  They are wonderful; they are amazing; they are miraculous.   I thank my God for my chances.    Thank you, dear and glorious Father in Heaven, for my chances.  And please, dear God, help me share the blessings of the chances Thou gavest me with others.
 
I’ll take my chances….any day!
 
Love,
Teresa

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What are the chances I will have the economic and political freedom to visit amazing natural places? AND to have amazing natural places to visit?
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What are the chances I will get a bonus daughter from Sweden?
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What are the chances my children will be healthy?
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.....and happy?
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What are the chances my daughter will be able to have a lamb?
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What are the chances that my children will learn how to work?
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What are the chances that Tanah will get her driver's license? (!!!)
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What are the chances that I will live close enough to my sweet sister to be able to visit occasionally?
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What are the chances that my Air Force brother will spend two weeks visiting me and charming my family?
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What are the chances that Tanah's name will appear on the marquee?
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I'll take my chances....and thank my God for them!!
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The Zoo

4/17/2016

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Zoo (definition):
  • a place where many kinds of animals are kept
  • a place, situation, or group that is crowded, loud, and uncontrolled
 
Hislop home (reality)
  • a place where many kinds of animals are kept
  • a place, situation, or group that is crowded, loud, and uncontrolled
 
Notice any similarities?
 
I love in a zoo, literally and figuratively.
 
Fifteen days ago Grace took custody of a day old lamb, one of a set of triplets whose mother’s milk supply was not sufficient for three.   Grace created a lamb space in the basement (wrestling mats doubled as walls and straw covered the cement floor) and put her almost-newborn to bed.   Fourteen days ago I awoke early and was concerned by the amount of noise I did not hear in the basement.   Shouldn’t the lamb be bleating?
 
Going downstairs to investigate I found the lamb’s bed had a double occupancy.   Grace and lamb were curled up together in the straw, sleeping soundly and silently.     They were together than night and have rarely been apart since.    Grace has taken her to school twice and to Las Vegas once.
 
Yes, we took a lamb to Las Vegas for Spring Break.     She traveled there and back in a pink, straw-lined bin and, while there, decorated my sister’s lawn, mystified her dogs, and intrigued her neighbors.    Twice, while Grace was out walking the lamb, complete strangers stopped their cars and wanted to take pictures.     Apparently week-old lambs strolling the streets are not a common site in Las Vegas.
 
The lamb follows Grace everywhere, including into my kitchen.  At some point she is going to have to learn that she is not human but I do not anticipate that happening anytime soon.
 
We also had day-old chicks in the basement where they stayed, under a heat lamp, until they began roosting on the exercise bike.   Now they are safely ensconced in the dog house.
 
Pigs have come to our place too though I am happy to report (VERY HAPPY!) that they were never housed in my basement.   We have two sets of three pigs.  (Six total pigs, for those of you who are mathematically challenged.)   Grace bought a set of three that she will raise to sell to whomever she can find that wants home-raised pork.   The other set of three are the show pigs that Miles, Tanah, and Grace will exhibit at the Weber County Fair.
 
Friday night the temperatures hovered just above freezing and I thought we’d lost a pig.   (Maybe I should have let them into the basement…?).    When I checked Saturday morning I could see only two pigs in the show pig pen.   I looked at them from all angles but could only see two pigs, cuddled together in the straw.     Seeing no pigs in the pasture either, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to go into the pig pen and investigate.  
 
Clad in hiking sandals (of course) I cautiously entered the pen and approached the huddled hogs.   Standing over the top of them, I could still see only two.   It was not until I bent over that I saw the a third set of butt cheeks.   It was a pig pile of three….and I was happy.
 
Grace has a little lamb and Miles hangs out in the pig pen and Tanah loves Babbs (the ornery cockatiel).   Pet fever infected Sara.   She adopted Penelope, a fluffy rabbit.    Three times I have come home from school to see Sara and Penelope, hanging out on the lawn where Sara tries to study and Penelope succeeds at being cute.
 
Zorro gets into the act as well.   He sacrificed his home to the chicks, his place as primary animal in the kitchen to the lamb, and his heart to the rabbit.   When Sara sets Penelope on the grass, Zorro stations himself next to the rabbit and affectionately licks her.    Crazy.
 
Friends who are moving gave us four more chickens and a duck.   They offered to give us a couple of turkeys as well but I turned them down.   I am not completely crazy.
 
Not completely crazy (but almost) is a phrase that could have been used to describe the Prom-attending group in our home last night….crowded, loud, and (almost) uncontrolled are descriptions that would apply as well.  (Refer to definition of zoo.)   Tanah, Sara, and a group of their friends went to Roy High’s Prom last night.    We took photos in Sandy’s yard before Prom---lots of stunning girls in beautiful dresses and fewer guys in shirts and ties—and they ate ice cream in my basement afterwards.   I know the picture taking was crowded, loud and (almost) uncontrolled.   I cannot say what the situation in the basement was because I was (completely) asleep by that time of day (night!).
 
The Hislops….a place where many kinds of animals are kept that is crowded, loud, and (almost) uncontrolled.

Welcome to our home!!

Love,
Teresa


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Grace and her girl
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Miles picks up a chick
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Bacon on the hoof
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The lamb enjoys lunch in Las Vegas
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Some girls have pet lambs....
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...other girls have pet dogs.
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This little piggie went to market......
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Where is the third pig?
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Can you see her now?
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Sharing the house with all those other animals is exhausting.
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Sara gets ready
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Babbs supervises
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Tanah is ready!
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Lucky man!
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007???
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The "Domestics"??
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The "Foreigners"
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"Crowded, loud and (almost) uncontrolled"
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Science Fair---Gotta Love It!!   

4/3/2016

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Science Fair…..WHEW!!
 
Remember your science fair days?    If you did science fair as a youth, you probably remember last minute scrambling to complete the project—late night runs to the Kmart, careful calligraphy on poster boards, creating graphs and data tables.   If you have experienced science fair as an adult, you probably remember last minute scrambling to complete the project—late night runs to Walmart, manipulating the printer to get the poster right, fighting Excel to create graphs from data tables.  If you are an OPA 8th grader, your memories are probably really quite fresh and your experience quite good.
​OH MY LANDS!   The OPA 8th graders are so cute.
 
On the day of science fair they (many of them) came dressed up.   Dan wore a suit that almost fit and Gina wore a sequined dress that fit really well.  (!!!!!)  Tim wore a bow tie.  
 
They came nervous.   Danielle said “Mrs. Hislop, I can’t do this” (she could!).   Darin showed up almost 2 hours early then paced the halls.
 
And they came prepared.   Many carried the cue card I’d given them.  “Smile” the card advises.  “Show the judge your face cheeks not your butt cheeks.”  All of them brought display boards, some fancy, some not.  
 
Judges came too—35 of them.   Joe, our neighbor and good friend, brought a vendor/physicist from Portland, OR who happened to be in the area.  Gilbert Green, a former Ben Lomond student, came again as did Spencer Seager, a former WSU microbiology professor.  Amie, OPA principal and former chemistry teacher, spent the day with us and thoroughly enjoyed her time with the students.  Tim Scalise ran registration again.   I have got to figure out a way to keep his youngest child at OPA indefinitely—or at least as long as I am at OPA—so that he’ll continue running registration.
 
The night before science fair I made a special trip into the school to help students with last minute questions.   About 4:00 I left the classroom and went to the gym to set up tables.    At 5:00 I left the school and went home to fix dinner.  
 
I was frying chicken when my cell phone rang.  “Mrs. Hislop, where are you?” said the voice at the other end.   WHOOPS!  I’d left Alice and Yvonne working in my room when I went to the gym.   I assumed they’d gone home.  I assumed wrong.  They were still in my room, still needing help.   I talked them through making a graph in Google Sheets and it as all good.
 
And it was all good.   Science fair was all good.   I did a better job this year preparing students for science fair than I have ever done and I was more pleased with the results that I have ever been.  I really emphasized student generated experiments and encouraged kids to ask questions about something in which they had personal interest.   Most of the projects were unique and authentic (rather than being Internet sought and contrived) and the results were correspondingly authentic and, if you ask me, awesome.
 
Some of the projects:
  • Which flour makes the best cupcakes?  (She brought me samples.  J)
  • How many lbs. of pressure are ideal in a soccer ball to get the longest distance on a kick?
  • Which fingernail polish lasts the longest?
  • Which leavening agent makes the fluffiest pancake?
  • What effect does different types of music have on dog’s obedience to spoken commands?
  • Which potato chip would be best to use as a fire starter when camping?
  • Does turmeric prevent bacterial growth?  
  • How many students use their cell phones (against the rules) in school?
  • A student who has sleep paralysis wondered how many other students also experience the symptoms and created a project to find out.
  • Another student made five different speakers from household materials.
  • Two boys experimented to find out which gun was most effective in the video game Black Ops 3.
  • One boy had people play a Mario Cart driving game, texting and not texting, and recorded the difference in their scores.
  • A student assessed the effectiveness of Super Bowl commercials by asked students to identify their favorite commercial and the product it advertised.  (Only about half could identify the advertised product.)
  • A budding artist experimented with different paper types to learn which made the best Paper Mache statues.
  • A budding track star did time trials on multiple running surfaces to find out which yielded the fast time.
  • A budding genius wrote a computer program to determine the influence of Charon on Pluto.
  • A budding veterinarian sorted through weeks of horse manure to find out if Sand Clear, a product designed to prevent colic, really did clear sand from horse intestines. 
 
Seeing the projects, watching the kids present to the judges, interacting with the judges myself, experiencing how the OPA family (particularly Gin, the Head Secretary) all pitched together to make the day a success, having wonderful parent volunteers—it was all a HUGE pay day, an absolutely great experience.
 
I guess I’ll do it again next year…!!!!
 
POST NOTE:    I tell the kids that science fair is required for all 8th graders but, sadly, that does not mean that all 8th graders will do a science fair project.  Some would much rather fail the entire class than subject themselves to science fair.
 
In an effort to maximize participation—because I truly believe creating one’s own experiment AND presenting one’s project to attentive adults is a PRICELESS education experience—I offer a carrot as well as a club.  
 
The club is the grade. The carrot is a field trip.    The Friday after the science fair, I take all 8th grade science fair participants (and ONLY 8th grade science fair participants) on an all-day field trip to the Museum of Natural Curiosity at Thanksgiving Point.     We ride the FrontRunner (train) to the museum, spend several hours exploring and playing, and ride the train home.   Students who would NEVER do a science fair project for me will willingly do a project for a chance to ride the train and play in the museum with their friends. 
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Hail Science Fair!!
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Turns out dogs do NOT obey as well when rap music is playing as they do when classical music is playing. Surprised?
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Nothing like explaining one's project to a Weber State professor!
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Science and soccer--a great combination!
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I did not even attempt to understand this student's project.
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She was so proud of this project. I got daily updates for weeks before the fair. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what science fair is all about!
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Fun on the FrontRunner!
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What would your hair look like in 130 mph winds?
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Making baskets is a bit trickier with distorted vision.
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Water is fun, not matter who or how old you are......
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Are we having fun yet?
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YES!!!!
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Can you see the columns? (white) Can you see the human figures? (black)
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Swings never get old!
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No, she is NOT in a cage!
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Ninja!
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    Author

    Teresa Hislop
    thislop@msn.com

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