When no one responded to her question, Mrs. Doxey rephrased it. “Is Tanah Hislop’s mother here?” Though I was still baffled as to why she wanted me, I was not at all confused about who she wanted. I am Tanah’s mom (and proud of it!). I stood, walked down the (long) aisle to the front, climbed the stairs leading to the stage (to scattered applause from the audience), and was escorted backstage where I saw Tanah, lying on the ground, surrounded by concerned choir members.
It was all good. She’d blacked out and dropped but managed to make it off stage before going down and she went down into the arms of adoring friends. By the time I’d arrived, they had the situation totally under control. Her pulse was normal, as were her respirations and eye dilation. When Lance asked her why they’d called for her mother instead of her father she said “If you had come, you’d have just stood around making bad puns.” Ah, how well she knows her dad!
Her father (my first husband) also had an adventure. One of the West Ogden renters has been problematic for a while (living there without paying rent or utilities for 7 months, broke out five windows, tore the front door off its hinges, tore up the kitchen linoleum and made a 36”x 4” deep hole in the kitchen floor and punched several holes in the walls, among other things) and was finally evicted this week. The locksmith changed the locks though it is difficult to secure the place with 5 broken windows and a front door that will not shut.
Later that night a neighbor called to tell us that the man was back in the house. I volunteered to go with Lance to kick him out but Lance decided he’d rather have police help. The officer said he was confident he could talk the renter out of the house, that Lance did not need to come to West Ogden, but that he (the officer) would call Lance if something out of the ordinary developed.
Something out of the ordinary developed. When Lance arrived the man was in handcuffs, lying on the bedroom floor. One policeman had a lacerated face and another officer had a bruised and swelling eye. Apparently the man decided to barricade himself inside the house (which is difficult to do when one has torn the door from its hinges) and, when the officers came in, he came out swinging. Lance watched as several officers drug him, screaming, from the house and put him in the back of a police car. When the former renter saw Lance, his vocal tirade switched from cop criticism to Lance lashings. He was totally unappreciative of the fact that Lance had essentially paid his rent and utilities for seven months. “I learned multiple new uses of the f-word,” Lance said. “I never knew it could be used so many ways, so many times in just a few sentences.”
I had a few choice words to describe my stupidity Tuesday, though none of them were as colorful as the words Lance’s renter used.
I’d been in town all morning buying things to put into Elder Hislop’s Christmas box and had spent a considerable amount of money at J.C. Penny. When I got home I found a coupon in the mail for 20% the entire purchase. I checked the dates to make sure it was valid (J.C. Penny is very particular about coupon dates) and it was. Coupon, packages, and receipt in hand, I went back to the store to return the merchandise and re-buy it with the coupon; 20% savings was significant on that purchase.
I explained my plan to the clerk as I handed her the coupon. She got a very puzzled look on her face. “This is a coupon for Payless Shoes,” she said. WHOOPS! Turns out J.C. Penny is particular about who offers the coupon as well.
The stories continue, though most of them are not as exciting as black outs, black eyes and red ink (on the coupon)……
- Miles won first place (and a $20 gift card) at the Midland Elementary Science Fair, Sixth Grade Division.
- Miles’ essay was one of only three chosen to be read at the D.A.R.E. graduation.
- Tanah was cast as the lead in the RHS winter play, “The Pied Piper of Valley Junction”. Her character is neither wicked nor drunken.
- Grace was given a speaking part in the same play, essentially the only non-senior to receive one.
- Grace “broke” into the finals in Congress in her first ever debate tournament and earned 2nd place in Novice Congress (and a trophy) in her second debate tournament.
- Grace won first place in the local FFA Creed Speaking Contest. She thinks she also won $50 and she knows she won the chance to participate in the region competition.
- Elder Hislop actually wrote us a letter!!! And it was good….. REALLYGOOD! He also sent us various candy wrappers because he was “too lazy to throw away the garbage so sent them to you! Merry Christmas”.
- A student in Lance’s second period class told him that his shirt was on inside out. She was right.
- Lance has taught himself (and Miles) how to pick locks…a skill they probably should not list on their resumes.
- Sara managed to stay out of the emergency room though she did make it to Salt Lake City, on the train, where she spent the night with foreign exchange student and tennis friends.
May your week be void of black outs and black eyes, may your coupons and your children be good and, most of all, may your days be merry and bright as you prepare to celebrate the birth of our Savior.