“Our marriage is old enough to legally drink,” Lance commented.
A drinking marriage……..the thought intrigued and entertained me. Today I am going to share my thoughts about a drinking marriage, hoping to intrigue and entertain you.
[NOTE: As a total teetotaler all my thoughts about the drinking of alcohol in any form are based on observation and supposition; no personal imbibing involved.]
As I see it, there are two main reasons for drinking: celebration or inebriation. The goal of celebratory drinking is to recognize and rejoice in a wonderful reality. Graduations, job offers, good friends, and marriages offer reasons for celebratory drinking.
The goal of inebriating drinking is to escape a painful reality. Chronic health issues, bad news, betrayal, and marriage offer reasons for inebriety drinking.
Notice that marriage is on both lists. Just for fun, I thought I’d compile a list of Twenty-One Reasons for a Drinking Marriage. Here goes:
- Discovering that the person to whom you are married insists on throwing his clothes on the floor in the corner even though the dirty clothes basket is actually closer to where he removes his clothing.
- Your spouse tries to hug you when he has not showered for days.
- The person to whom you are married does not feel bad about sitting doing nothing while you are working, working, working .
- When you remind him (again) that he needs to bring home some insurance papers, he does not get mad at you for nagging.
- When you bring the fact that you got a haircut to your spouse’s attention, he says you look beautiful.
- When someone asks him to flip off the light you know exactly what he is going to do…and it does not involve any physical contact with a light switch.
- When you ask him to drive to the store to buy lemons for you, he willingly agrees.
- When you need help with the computer at 4:30 a.m. he gets out of bed, without grumbling, and fixes the problem.
- When you ask him if you can offer to pay for an acquaintances’ trip tour fee, he sincerely thinks it is a good idea.
- Finding out that when he was really, REALLY mad at you he did not talk about you to friends or family because, even in his anger, he is loyal to you.
- Hearing Rob Dow say “This is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Where did you find this guy?” when your spouse does a drill sergeant routine at your mission reunion.
- Laughing to tears (and even snorting some) when the person to whom you are married impersonates King Noah at a Young Women’s activity. “This is a great pick up line,” he says as he approaches you. “Hi. I’m King.”
- Hearing him say (frequently), “Thank you for marrying me.”
- Hearing him introduce you by saying “This is my lovely bride.”
- Knowing that he is very (very) intelligent and has a unique ability to problem solve and think outside the box.
- Knowing that he loves your parents and your siblings as much as you do (which is VERY, VERY much!)
- Having him encourage you to pursue your dreams, to follow your heart, to live an adventure, to grab life with both hands and then enjoy telling the stories; knowing that he will be the “wind beneath your wings” to support you in whatever you decide to do.
- Feeling his love and compassion when you are crying yourself to sleep and he says, “What can I do to help?”
- Hearing him say “You are truly beautiful” and knowing that he means it, even when you have an age and pregnancy-altered body.
- Watching your children laugh and joke with him and knowing that they truly love and honor him.
- Kneeling with him and your children in family prayer and hearing him petition the Father in your behalf.
Marriage to Lance is something worth celebrating. I’d drink to that!!