- Run the Acura into a parked trailer. Be sure to go at a speed slow enough to guarantee that no injuries are inflicted on the passengers but fast enough to crumple the front end, damaging it enough to ensure that the insurance declares the vehicle a total loss.
- Text your friend and ask her if you can borrow her Range Rover for two days until your other vehicle returns from its fishing trip in the mountains. If you do it right (or more accurately, if you ask the right friend—one who is generous, trusting, and self-sacrificing) then your friend will loan you her Range Rover for the two weeks it takes you to find a replacement vehicle.
- Marry a fabulous man who is committed to making your dreams come true. If you marry such a man then he will begin a hunt for a truck for you (if that is your dream). Turn the vehicle replacement responsibilities over to your marvelous man and his hunt will take him through literally hundreds of hours of time on the Internet scouring literally thousands of auto ads. In his attempt to secure the best vehicle for the money that he has available, he will research trucks, truck engines, and truck options of all varieties, he will briefly consider flying back east where truck prices are consistently better, and will seriously consider flying to Canada to bring home a specific CNG (compressed natural gas) truck.
- Decide, based in research done, to buy a CNG truck. This decision will take your man to Kaysville, money in hand, to make a purchase. The “make-no-deals”, arrogant attitude of the truck’s owner will send him back to the Internet where he will find a newly posted ad for a different CNG truck, this one located in American Fork.
- Make a call to the truck’s owner and learn that the truck (and owner) are currently located at Scofield Lake. This will lead to a foray to the lake where the owner’s willingness to negotiate, coupled with the truck’s appearance and performance, will lead to an agreement to purchase the vehicle.
- Research the vehicle and discover that its CNG tank is expired which will enable your man to negotiate a further reduction of the purchase price but will effect an increase the vehicle’s actual cost.
- Buy the vehicle. Your man will replace its CNG tank, license and register it, resign himself to drive the family van to and from work, and will give you a new-looking, white, 4x4, extended cab, CNG 2003 Ford truck.
Simple as that!!