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I Am a Country Girl!

6/9/2013

16 Comments

 
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URGENT!   I interrupt this blog post to present you with an important question.

 A Pew study recently reported that mothers are the sole or primary providers in 40% of American households with children under 18.   In 1960, women were sole or primary breadwinners in 11% of households with children under 18.    I associate with some intelligent, respected individuals who claim this is positive news; that the trend toward more working mothers opens the doors of opportunity for women and gives women greater chances for success.   I (vehemently) disagree.   I see it as an indication that more mothers are being economically pushed into the
workforce and that women’s freedom to choose to stay at home is diminished.   To me, this is not good news.   What do you
think?

And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming.

“Well life on the farm is kinda laid back
Ain't much an old country boy like me can't hack
 It's early to rise, early in the sack
Thank God I'm a country boy.

“Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm
A raisin' me a family and workin' on a farm
My days are all filled with an easy country charm
Thank God I'm a country boy

 [
JOHN DENVER - THANK GOD I€™MCOUNTRY BOY LYRICS]



I love this John Denver song; in many ways it describes me.   The longer I live on this great, green Earth, the more I realize I am a country girl—through and through—and the more grateful I am for that fact. However, life on my tiny one acre farm is not laid back.   I am a country girl living in a city and life is frenetic more often than not.   The following little re-write makes the song more personally accurate.  
 
“Well life on my farm is rarely laid back
Though it ain't much a country gal like me can't hack
It's early to rise, early in the sack
Thank God I'm a country girl.

“Well this crazy kinda life never did me no harm
A raisin' me a family; we’re all workin' on our farm
My children and my husband fill my heart with charm
Thank God I'm a country girl.

Whaaa-whoo!   Life on our city farm is not laid back as will be demonstrated by this week’s stories.

Monday I noticed that the sheep were not keeping pace with the pasture’s growth; something needed to be done.   Two options presented themselves.  I could 1) invite Dad’s horses over for a week, they would chop the grass down and leave mounds of poop or 2) buy a steer that would chop the grass down, leave me mounds of poop AND provide me with steaks in October.    Easy decision. We now have a 635 lb. Holstein steer grazing in our pasture.  [Lance finds it quite ironic that, after my vehement youthful determination to avoid Holsteins at all cost, I now own one.]

The steer has arrived. The rooster is gone.   Friday night he attacked Tanah and, in the process, knocked over and destroyed the day’s egg harvest.   It was his last mistake.    Saturday afternoon Miles, Grace, and I invited the rooster to a gentle beheading under the apricot tree.    Grace loves the anatomy lessons that accompany a butchering.  She seriously enjoys reaching into the body cavity, pulling out the viscera, and examining the innards, organ by miraculous organ.  It was Miles’ first poultry killing.  Though he had no desire to put his hand into the chicken and the blood concerned him a bit, he was quite favorably impressed.  “It is all so beautiful,” he said of the heart, lungs, tracheal tube, crop, gizzard, kidney, testicles, and liver.  “The rooster was beautiful on the outside and he is beautiful on the inside too.”

[He also noted that the rooster’s testicles were bigger than  his.   However no side-by-side  comparison occurred.]

Mice are not beautiful, inside or outside, though I definitely prefer them outside.    Sunday night Grace called from the Bishop’s house where the youth were having a fireside (devotional type meeting).     “Can I have six mice?” she asked.   NO!   “But no one else will take them,” she continued.   THERE IS A REASON NO ONE WILL TAKE THEM.   “Please, please!,” she pled.   “If we don’t take them then they will be killed tomorrow.”   THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM.   “Please, please, please,” she begged.     Sunday night there were six mice housed in two cages sitting on an outside picnic table beside Zorro’s dog run in our back yard.    Lance’s comment:  “You are such a ‘yes’ mom.”   My question: Is that a good
thing or a bad thing?

Having Chick attend the OWATC is definitely a good thing.   In 9 six-hour days he has earned  270 hours of the 900 hours required for his Machinist 1 certification.   
 
Having Tanah work as a 4-H summer camp counselor this past week has also been a good thing….except that it means I must drive to and from the fairgrounds twice a day.   Driving is not so bad except when I hit a garbage can with my passenger side mirror at 35 mph and shattered the glass into innumerable smithereens.    That was not a good
thing.     I said to Lance, “I don’t know how it happened.  I was not texting, I was not reading, I was not even talking to
anyone.   How did I get close enough to the garbage can to clip it with the mirror?”   He kindly pointed out that the question
was one I should know the answer to since I was the one who had done it.  He was the person who was left wondering how….

While I was in Yellowstone Mr. Miles competed in the district Krypto  (a math card game) finals and placed third.   The
experience has converted him to a Krypto-maniac.  In church Sunday he used the hymn numbers posted at the front of the chapel to created multiple Krypto challenges.  He kept himself entertained.

Hope, age six,  entertained us Sunday in Primary.    Brother Ropelato taught that no unclean thing can be in heaven.  He then asked what people do when they sin and become unclean.   He anticipated an answer centered on repentance.   What he got was a loud and emphatic “Go to hell!” 

I know one person who is definitely NOT going to hell.   I’ve sung Sallie Hislop’s praises before and will sing them again I’m sure.   Tuesday night I learned that I needed to pick a book and make a meal for Wednesday morning’s book club.   I mentioned my quandary to Sallie.   She suggested I make a green salad.  Good idea.   Wednesday morning she showed up
with chicken for my green salad, a pasta salad of her own, cookies, and a chocolate birthday cake for Tammy, another Book Club member.   Great idea!!

I heard some great ideas at my first meeting with the Standard  Examiner editorial board Monday….and some not so great ideas.    The first item discussed was one I thought was a no brainer.    The other board members thought it was a no brainer also.   Sadly our brains were going in different directions.  As the new girl on the block and the only non-newspaper person present, I  hesitated a moment before expressing an opinion contrary to everyone else there…and then jumped in.   I
was not very convincing, however.   The final vote was 6-1; I was the lone opposing voice.     
 
Though the first vote went against me, I had a very good experience.   It was enlightening, invigorating and empowering to discuss issues with intelligent, well-read people.   I very much look forward to the next meeting.

As we walked out, Andy Howell, the paper’s executive editor,  said, “Will you still be able to meet with us when school starts?”    Initially I interpreted the question to mean that he liked having me on the board and was hoping that school’s start in the fall would not interfere.    I felt  great.  Then the less confident me began hypothesizing that he did NOT like having me on the board and was hoping that school’s start in the fall would prevent my continued attendance.   I felt insecure.   The truth is probably that he was simply curious. Now I feel silly.    It is funny  what we humans do to ourselves.

It is also funny, in a beautiful, amazing, indescribable way, what our children do to us.   I had an absolutely fabulous, glorious, spectacular, wonderful Saturday.   Why?  Because my house was messy in the morning and was clean in the
  afternoon.   The house was an attic to basement disaster; stuff covered every horizontal surface.   Enter TeamHISLOP.  
Armed with a mop, a vacuum, a broom, multiple rags, some squirt bottles and the mantra “No one is done until everyone is done”, we set to work.  Everyone pitched in; no one complained.  In 2.5 hours we made it happen, together.     There seriously is no joy comparable to working together as a family.  
 
Well I wouldn't trade my life for diamonds or a jewel,
I'd rather have my animals and a gardenin' tool.
Being here with my family is really, REALLY cool.
Thank God I'm a country girl.


Love,
Teresa


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16 Comments
Stacie
6/9/2013 10:19:59 am

I fully agree with this!!! I think that it is crucial for a Mother to have the ability to decide whether to work, or stay home and do daily duties- that have to get done either way! I think that it makes life more challenging for all involved. Being a stay-at-home Mom is not as easy as some make it out to be. Laundry, dishes, more laundry, more dishes, cooking, cleaning, and more cleaning, in my opinion,

Reply
Stacie
6/9/2013 10:24:42 am

can take away some of the most important time away from our Children. I think that a lot of the time we as individuals, get caught up on working, and doing housework, running to games, ect... that we lose sight of the value of living life. We also lose sight of those things and people that are most important to us. I try not to stay so busy that I cannot see the beauty in life.

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Teresa Hislop
6/12/2013 01:00:50 am

Seeing the beauty of life............SO TRUE and so often overlooked. Thanks for the reminder!!!

Brooke Bingham Jones link
6/9/2013 11:20:01 am

Hi friends from yrs. Past. I agree with your statment. I have been blessed to be home developing the little ones into what I thought were children with good work ethics and conflict resolution skilled entities. Now the change In the economy is pushing our family to make changes. Its being hard to adjust this summer because they are home alone more and I am a cell call away. Not as nice as when we were able to mold the day the way we wanted to and now it seems cramed into two weekend days. Opportunities are not being able to be done. But kids have steped up to get things done its a give and take kind of a way of life. Much nicer when I was home to help develop them daily instead of for a few hours here and there. Sorry my blog is terribly in need of update an issue of going to work because of the economy.

Reply
Teresa Hislop
6/12/2013 01:04:48 am

So good to read from you!! Like you, the economy forced me back into the work place and, like you, my kids have stepped up. Like you, I long for the days when I could be in their classroom or had the time and energy to help them with extra projects. Like you, lots of my personal projects have been dropped because I am back in the work force. But life is good, REALLY good and God helps (REALLY helps!) Thanks for writing.

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K Johnson
6/9/2013 01:21:04 pm

Why is the assumption that a large portion of the 40% of women did not choose to work? I believe that absolutely all women should have the freedom to choose what they would like to do. And I believe there are many women who choose to both be excellent mothers and positiviely choose to participate in the workforce. Perhaps the increase shows that the economy is more fairly rewarding womens contributions. That more women have strong partnerships with spouses who work together to determine what is the best solution for the family?

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Teresa Hislop
6/12/2013 01:14:07 am

Great question! 63% of those women (25 of the 40) are single moms. This, of course, does not mean that they did not choose to work but, given the statistics about single moms and their offspring, it does mean that success is more elusive for both woman and child.

I completely agree that absolutely all woman should have the freedom to work if they so choose. The problem, as I see it, is that the economy is removing that choose from an increasingly large number of women as they are pushed into the work force in order to keep their families afloat.

It might be productive to note a difference of perspective here. In my neighborhood and circle of acquaintances, every woman who has returned to the work force in the past several years has done so reluctantly. Theirs was not a career choice but a survival choice. I imagine, though I don't know for sure and please do not be offended if I am wrong, that most of the women who you know that have entered the work force in the past several years have done so because they were pursuing a career of their choice.

Choice is the key. From my perspective, the current economy is taking that choice away from a significant number of women. The number is significant in my mind because it is significant in my world.

Thanks so much, SO MUCH, for responding.

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Tammy Paulson
6/12/2013 01:29:25 am

I know many women who only work outside the home because they feel they need to to support their family. I also believe that probably half or more of that 40% work outside the home because they feel it is more important and rewarding. While I personally believe that there is nothing more important I could be doing than raising my children, I also think that it is very difficult being a woman and mother and that as women we should support and help one another without judging.

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Teresa Hislop
6/12/2013 11:15:11 pm

This is it!!!!!! You found the perfect conclusion to the discussion. NO JUDGING!!! Thank you and thank you and thank you!!

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Sheree link
6/13/2013 03:03:49 am

Teresa,
You need someone with a different opinion to weigh in on this question. The answer isn’t really an either/or. There are 3 reasons that 40% of women may be in the workforce. Reason 1- They don’t have a working husband. Answer for these women--I’d say it is good that they are able to be primary providers for their families; good that they can find respectable work, paying equitable wages to what a man with similar skills would make. It’s probably bad for them that the father of their children is either deceased, unfit to be a spouse, or unfit to be a father. Reason 2- They want to be in the workforce. This is my category. I chose a career that is meaningful, was supported while pursuing my education, and delayed having a family until I was professionally established. I’m grateful to the 40% of women in the workforce that make it possible for me to pursue my profession, receive wages equitable to my male peers, and have corporate policies that support maternity leave and flexible work hours. I grew up in a dual income home, and am proud of my mother for supporting her family with work she enjoyed and the ability to be independent from her spouse when necessary. I have no “mommy guilt” for my choices. My children are in a loving, supportive environment and are thriving. Reason 3-- They are driven to work due to the economics of this country, where wages are not keeping pace with inflation and the cost of living. This is driven partly by corporate greed to pay everyone less, and partly by the economics of 2 income houses increasing either the cost of living, or the social pressure to raise the standard of living when the household has more income. Clearly, you and your other readers fall into category 3.
I should also point out that while a mother needing to work for economic reasons may be bad for that mother’s personal well being, if she’d rather be at home, it’s not bad for her children. The studies have all shown that children do equally well whether they have a parent at home, or whether they don’t. They don’t do well if they lack a loving, supportive, environment, but that‘s a totally different conversation.

Question #2 - Being a Yes Mom is a

Reply
Teresa Hislop
6/13/2013 05:35:37 am

Well said though I do find the number of women in your first category a cause for concern. It is great that single mothers have good economic options but the trend to more single mothers is an alarming one.

As for being a "yes" mom, the question was largely rhetorical. I decided long ago that I would be a "yes" mom about most things. I save "no" for moral, integrity, and safety issues.

Thanks so much for weighing in on this. I appreciate your perspective.

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Sheree
6/13/2013 03:06:08 am

cutoff!
Question #2 - Being a Yes Mom is a good thing, assuming you’re also disciplining as necessary.

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Gina Andrews
6/17/2013 02:20:15 am

Teresa, I love reading your thoughts! You are so awesome, and inciteful! I got to be a stay at home mom for 23 years and then the economy forced me to work. I worked one year in a potatoe processing plant and went back to school to become a teacher because I knew that spud job would kill me early! Teaching wasn't exactly what I expected, but I just finished my first year and it IS getting better! If I had my choice, I would still be a stay at home mom/grandma, playing with. Y 9, soon to be 10

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Teresa Hislop
6/18/2013 01:19:01 am

Gina, YEA YOU for getting an education and modeling for your children the process of being a problem solver! Life never gives us what we expect. Taking life's gifts and making them positive is one of the best things we can teach our children (in my opinion). You have done just that and your children and grandchildren will be blessed by your example.........not to mention the lucky children in your classroom. You are awesome.

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Amber Lloyd Messina
7/7/2013 06:57:27 am

Your story about Miles playing Krypto with the Sacrament Meeting hymns makes me chuckle. I too was a Krypto-maniac and have passed much time in church doing the same thing. I still find myself doing it on occasion :) It sounds like you and your family are doing great and enjoying a busy, fun life! Thanks for the blog updates - they're fun to read.

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Teresa Hislop
7/9/2013 11:47:46 pm

I think of you every time Miles gets out the Krypto cards! I remember your Krypto days and I remember being amazed. Of course that is just one of the many amazing things about you. Thanks for your kind words about my blog.

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