Twenty-three years……. Twenty-three years ago Lance and I were married legally and sealed eternally in the Ogden Temple.
For the first few years of our marriage, when asked “How are you?” Lance responded, eyes twinkling, “I am nice, kind, sweet, stunningly good looking, happy and happily married.” And it was true. Then, for years, it was not.
Our marriage has had a few dark years; years (and years!) when neither of us could say we were happy or happily married. Unrecognized mental health challenges masked Lance’s personality and caused us both to question who we were. Feelings of betrayal, confusion, anger, frustration, disillusionment, sorrow, guilt and overwhelming loneliness pushed out feelings of love, joy, security, trust, and intimacy. Health challenges brought financial challenges which made a hard situation even more difficult. Societal stigmas associated with mental health issues exacerbated the problem. Rain clouds, ominous and foreboding, dominated our emotional horizons. Everything seemed dark. Everything.
It was hard. Hard. HARD. There were times when being in the same room was incredibly difficult, sharing a bed was the hardest thing I have ever done, and looking him in the eye was impossible. I know these were the hardest times of his life as well. Not only could he not feel joy or even hope, he could not even remember ever feeling joy or hope. Cognitively he knew that he had been happy once but the feelings associated with happiness were totally foreign; despair was his constant companion. Hard times. Hard. HARD.
Those times were hard but they were not everlasting. Ask Lance how he is today and he will answer “I am nice, kind, sweet, stunningly good looking, happy and happily married.” And it will be true. For both of us. I, too, am happy and happily married.
We made it through the rain.
How?
God.
During the dark years, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Through deep, intimate, personal and passionate experience I learned that there is a God and that He answers prayers. “Dear Father,” I plead, “Please tell me what to do. Please, please, please tell me what to do.” And He did. He spoke to me through the scriptures. Every verse I read in the Book of Mormon seemed to tell me that love and patience were the solution. Be loving and have patience. I received that scriptural message over and over again.
Our Father in Heaven blessed us through others as well. He led me to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), an organization that helped me understand, connected me to resources, offered me the support and empathy of others in similar situations, and most significantly, gave me hope. He brought me to a therapist who equipped both of us with the tools needed to change our direction. And He blessed us with friends and family who freely gave both financial and emotional support.
He, Master of the Universe, God of All, also gave me direct, personal instruction through unmistakable spiritual impressions. In my darkest moments, when the rain threatened to sweep me away, His Holy Spirit guided me, comforted me, strengthened me, protected me. Through experiences too sacred to share I knew He was there and aware.
And now, with feelings too deep to adequately express, I am grateful, SO GRATEFUL. Today, literally and specifically thanks to God, I am very, VERY happily married to a man whom I honor, respect, love, and adore and who honors, respects, loves, and adores me.
Hard times are universal. So is God. Maybe the hard time is marriage, maybe it is not being married. Maybe the hard time is your job, maybe it is not having a job. Maybe it is the children, maybe it is not having children. Maybe it is health or, more accurately, not being healthy. Storm clouds assemble and rains come to all. So does God, if we let Him.
We made it through the rain…..and found ourselves respected by the others (each other) who got rained on too….and made it through. And you can too!!!!!
Love,
Teresa
I Made It Through The Rain
Barry Manilow
We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive
We keep the feelings warm
Protect them from the storm
Until our time arrives
Then one day the sun appears
And we come shining through those lonely years
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
When friends are hard to find
And life seems so unkind
Sometimes you feel afraid
Just aim beyond the clouds
And rise above the crowds
And start your own parade
'Cause when I chase my fears away
That's when I knew that I could finally say
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
And made it through
And made it through
Songwriters: Gerard Kenny / Drey Shepperd / Bruce Sussman / Jack Feldman / Barry Manilow
I Made It Through The Rain lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
For the first few years of our marriage, when asked “How are you?” Lance responded, eyes twinkling, “I am nice, kind, sweet, stunningly good looking, happy and happily married.” And it was true. Then, for years, it was not.
Our marriage has had a few dark years; years (and years!) when neither of us could say we were happy or happily married. Unrecognized mental health challenges masked Lance’s personality and caused us both to question who we were. Feelings of betrayal, confusion, anger, frustration, disillusionment, sorrow, guilt and overwhelming loneliness pushed out feelings of love, joy, security, trust, and intimacy. Health challenges brought financial challenges which made a hard situation even more difficult. Societal stigmas associated with mental health issues exacerbated the problem. Rain clouds, ominous and foreboding, dominated our emotional horizons. Everything seemed dark. Everything.
It was hard. Hard. HARD. There were times when being in the same room was incredibly difficult, sharing a bed was the hardest thing I have ever done, and looking him in the eye was impossible. I know these were the hardest times of his life as well. Not only could he not feel joy or even hope, he could not even remember ever feeling joy or hope. Cognitively he knew that he had been happy once but the feelings associated with happiness were totally foreign; despair was his constant companion. Hard times. Hard. HARD.
Those times were hard but they were not everlasting. Ask Lance how he is today and he will answer “I am nice, kind, sweet, stunningly good looking, happy and happily married.” And it will be true. For both of us. I, too, am happy and happily married.
We made it through the rain.
How?
God.
During the dark years, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Through deep, intimate, personal and passionate experience I learned that there is a God and that He answers prayers. “Dear Father,” I plead, “Please tell me what to do. Please, please, please tell me what to do.” And He did. He spoke to me through the scriptures. Every verse I read in the Book of Mormon seemed to tell me that love and patience were the solution. Be loving and have patience. I received that scriptural message over and over again.
Our Father in Heaven blessed us through others as well. He led me to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), an organization that helped me understand, connected me to resources, offered me the support and empathy of others in similar situations, and most significantly, gave me hope. He brought me to a therapist who equipped both of us with the tools needed to change our direction. And He blessed us with friends and family who freely gave both financial and emotional support.
He, Master of the Universe, God of All, also gave me direct, personal instruction through unmistakable spiritual impressions. In my darkest moments, when the rain threatened to sweep me away, His Holy Spirit guided me, comforted me, strengthened me, protected me. Through experiences too sacred to share I knew He was there and aware.
And now, with feelings too deep to adequately express, I am grateful, SO GRATEFUL. Today, literally and specifically thanks to God, I am very, VERY happily married to a man whom I honor, respect, love, and adore and who honors, respects, loves, and adores me.
Hard times are universal. So is God. Maybe the hard time is marriage, maybe it is not being married. Maybe the hard time is your job, maybe it is not having a job. Maybe it is the children, maybe it is not having children. Maybe it is health or, more accurately, not being healthy. Storm clouds assemble and rains come to all. So does God, if we let Him.
We made it through the rain…..and found ourselves respected by the others (each other) who got rained on too….and made it through. And you can too!!!!!
Love,
Teresa
I Made It Through The Rain
Barry Manilow
We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive
We keep the feelings warm
Protect them from the storm
Until our time arrives
Then one day the sun appears
And we come shining through those lonely years
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
When friends are hard to find
And life seems so unkind
Sometimes you feel afraid
Just aim beyond the clouds
And rise above the crowds
And start your own parade
'Cause when I chase my fears away
That's when I knew that I could finally say
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
And made it through
And made it through
Songwriters: Gerard Kenny / Drey Shepperd / Bruce Sussman / Jack Feldman / Barry Manilow
I Made It Through The Rain lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
We made in through the rain....and the desert.
 What a handsome couple!  After running a Ragnar in Washington State. Lance lost his smile somewhere on the course....  I am cutting his beard, NOT his throat!  |  Something is very fishy here....  "L" is for Lance and love. Our marriage is rock solid....now. :)   |
Attacked on a Florida beach....
 Lance fears he will have to surrender his Hislop Man Card if he is seen in public wearing a BYU shirt....  Gotta love a furry face....?!?!?!?! |  Young couple  Not so young couple....  A heart shaped steak on Valentine's Day.... |
We made it through the rain....and found ourselves very, VERY happy.
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